The O'Day Way

Why New Yorkers Are "Rude"

2012-01-24T09:15:00.004-05:00

New York City is now the world's top tourist destination. And apparently the tourists are whining up a storm because they've voted New York City as the "rudest" city in the world. But that doesn't stop visitors from coming. No, our town is a busy place PACKED with tourists! And while we love them, sometimes they need a little help. Here are a few pointers for our very welcomed guests:

Top 10 List for Tourists in New York City

1) You need to be fit enough to walk at least two miles in order to get around New York. Certainly there are accommodations for people in wheelchairs, but for those of you who are “able-bodied” but who spend most of your time in your hometown sitting in a chair, on a couch, or in your car, you might want to exercise a little before you get here. New York is a city of sidewalks and stairs, and most of us walk at least a mile a day just running errands and going to and from the subway. And to get in and out of the subway you’re going to have to go up and down stairs. Several flights of stairs per subway trip.

2) Don’t stop at the top of the subway stairs. There are lots and lots of people behind you. When you stop ALL the people behind you have to stop, and they will send you waves of hate for slowing them down. Remember, millions of people actually live here and they’re trying to get to work, or get home, or pick up their kids from school, or just get somewhere. Keep moving, and pull over to the side if you need to catch your breath or look at a map.

3) Ask a New Yorker for directions. We really love our city, even when it’s driving us crazy. We like to show off our knowledge. It doesn’t matter if we look cranky or absorbed in thought, ask a New Yorker for directions. (But not if someone is trying to talk on a cell phone. Seriously, that’s just bad manners.) Chances are, when you ask for assistance, the person you ask will know how to help and then two or three other New Yorkers will pipe in with suggestions, and you’ll end up getting great directions plus extra tidbits of advice.

4) It’s a sidewalk. A Side WALK. Sidewalks are like highways here in New York City, you need to keep moving. When you STOP suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk people behind you will walk up your butt or knock you over, and it isn’t anybody’s fault but your own. Those people behind you who do stop in time will send you hate vibes. When you stop suddenly in the middle of a sidewalk here in New York City you create a barrier for the hundreds of people behind you. So if you really need to stop you should pull over to the side, just like you would if you were driving on a highway. If you stop in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk you come off as rude and stupid.

5) Revolving doors are not brain-teasers. There are many revolving doors here in the city and they’re not that hard to figure out. You push on the push bar, and you go through one at a time. If you wedge your patootie in with some stranger in a revolving door you are going to be lectured, at the very least. If you are unsure of how to use a revolving door, best to watch others do it, then try for yourself.

6) Tip. If you go to a restaurant leave the waiter a tip. To calculate the appropriate amount look at your bill, double the amount shown on the tax, and leave it for the waiter. Don’t be cheap!

7) Go to the theater! We have some great shows here, on and off Broadway! Make sure you turn off your cell phone before the show, and never text during a show. If you see someone texting during a show you should kick their chair and cause a ruckus. People who text during a show get arrested and have to spend at least 24 hours lost in the New York judicial system -- and they deserve it! Also, it’s illegal to take photos during a show. Just a head’s up.

8) Don’t stop. When you go through a turnstile, keep moving. When you go through the metro entrance, keep moving. When you enter a building, a museum, a theater, keep moving. Just because you’ve crossed a threshold doesn’t mean there aren’t people behind you. What kind of silly-nilly stops in a doorway?! Keep moving!

9) Walking four or five across is a bad idea. We all understand you’re visiting with family and friends, but to walk shoulder to shoulder with all those people is selfish. There is no need to form a slow-moving barrier. Clump it up, and help keep our city moving.

10) Keep Moving. Unless you’re from Mexico City or Hong Kong or a city where people walk rather than drive from strip mall to strip mall, there are a lot more people here than you’re used to. Try to enjoy the hustle and flow. Our city is like a heart, and the people are the blood running through the veins. Don’t be system-threatening plaque that clogs things and causes trouble. Get into the music of being a part of our crowd. Don’t stop dancing, go with the flow.

And hey, tourists, we're not rude we're direct. We have places to go and people to see. If you're looking for chatty and smiley all the ding-dong day this is not where you want to be. We're not all on vacation here. Enjoy your stay.

Work Harder

2012-01-18T10:07:00.001-05:00

Sometimes you have to work harder.

Some people have to work harder at losing weight. Doesn’t matter why, could be compulsive overeating or a glandular thing, whatever. But some folks have to work harder than the rest of us to drop those extra pounds.

Some people have to work harder at getting a job. Some people have to work harder to make friends. Some have to work harder not to pick their noses in public.

I have to work harder than most people at not losing my temper. It’s challenging for me to keep a lid on things. There is so much ineptitude and rudeness in our world. Keeping my cool is especially difficult when I challenge all of my readers to send me a list of their everyday gripes and only one reader – ONE – actually sent me a gripe.

And do you know what that ONE person’s gripe was?!

“aaawww... do I have to write them down!? All of 'em? ...waahhh”

Good for you, Joan Palmeri. Well done. Well played. You jokingly wrote down a gripe. But at least you wrote something down and sent it in. Good for you. You get to wear a tiara for 15 whole minutes.

As for the rest of you “readers and not doers” -- I didn’t realize you were all so perfectly content. You must have perfect lives and careers and relationships. I didn’t know you were all so heaped with heartfelt, genuine gratitude that you have no minor complaints about your lives at all! Good for you! You’re practically fucking Buddhas.

I am punching you in the face with sarcasm right now, people, but only because I can’t actually reach you through your screen and slap you.

ONE GRIPE, folks. ONE. You can facebook me – I’m Sandra O’Day on facebook or you can email me at PowerOfSandra@aol.com

Unless of course you don’t know how to write. But that’s a developing nation problem. So you probably know how to write. I bet you know how to, “txt 2 ur frieeennnds LOL!!!!! OMFG ROTFL!”

Impressive.

Get on it, people. I will come after you.

Phony Sunshine

2012-01-10T16:49:00.002-05:00

Last week I challenged my readers to keep a “Whinery,” a daily diary of their petty complaints. Why a Whinery? Why not a “Gratitude Journal?”

Why? Because I’m not Oprah. I’m Sandra O’Day, an ex-con motivational speaker, flawed with anger management issues.

I’m sick to death of everyone’s “Sunshine Act.”

I admit I am a mostly grateful person -- my apartment has electricity and clean running water, which is better than 90% of the world is doing. But I also know that the small gripes in life are the things that will give your “Cheery Sunshine Face” gangrene and force you to amputate if you don’t deal with them.

Let’s strive to be more emotionally adventurous. Let’s look at our ridiculous gripes so that our “attitude of gratitude” comes from someplace real. Someplace examined and earned. Spill the beans of your ugly over-privileged life and point and laugh. It’s good for all of us.

Otherwise you’re just spraying perfume on your perineum and calling it clean.

Get on that Whinery, folks. It’s time to share.

Happy New Year -– Start a Whinery

2012-01-03T21:57:00.002-05:00

A Dialogue

Sandra O'Day
2011 was one tough year, I’ll give you that. But boy oh boy am I sick of your whining and complaining.

You
Who, me?

Sandra O’Day
Yes. You.

You
But Sandra, I post my attitude of gratitude all over Facebook and Twitter! I’m no whiner!

Sandra O’Day
Hey whiney baby, you merely use “The Sunshine Act” to avoid powerful motivational fuel. It’s like using lead-based makeup to cover up syphilis marks like the French Aristocracy did back in the late 1700s.

You
What?

Sandra O’Day
Whiner! I challenge you to start a Diary of Whining. A Whinery.

You
A Whinery?

Sandra O’Day
Yes! Do it for one week. Every little bitchy, complaining thought you have, jot it down and then send me your choicest notes from your Whinery.

You
Where do I send it?

Sandra O’Day
Message me on Facebook, or email me at PowerofSandra@aol.com.
Happy New Year.

Take Your Silver Lining and Cram It Up Your Ass

2011-10-26T11:50:00.002-04:00

You’d think one of the worst things about being a disaster victim is dealing with FEMA. Or insurance adjusters. Or the complete devastation of your home and loss of all possessions.

But no, all that is merely frustrating.

The absolute worst thing about being a disaster victim are the people who will not shut the fuck up about looking at “the bright side”.

People. I make my living looking at the bright side. I’ve survived a murder attempt in prison and I survive the subway in New York City on a daily basis. I’m a transformational expert and motivational speaker. I teach people to look up because I know how to do it.

So don’t be telling me about that time your grandma’s basement flooded or your second cousin who had the broken sump pump. I do not give a rat’s ass. You do not know what you are talking about.

My house is a shit-show right now and I know it’s going to get better but I do NOT need someone with zero experience telling me about the silver lining.

So cram the silver lining up your butt and get back to work. You do your work, I’ll do mine.

87 Motel

2011-09-19T21:17:00.002-04:00

On August 28, 2011 Hurricane Irene wracked many towns on the east coast, including Gardiner, New York. O’Day Camp was one of the many homes and businesses creamed by Irene’s wind and flood waters.

We fled our home in Gardiner to the neighboring town of New Paltz, mostly because that was as far as we could go. The New York State Thruway was washed out in several parts, and most local roads were also washed out.

We checked into 87 Motel.

87 Motel is advertised as “Clean, Comfortable, Affordable and Friendly.” I can report it is affordable and friendly.

It does not allow pets, but I’m not sure why. Would pets finish ripping the towel rack out of the tile? Might pets fix the drawers? Suck the ample amount of garbage/debris from the AC? But the staff really is friendly.

87 Motel hosts a fascinating cast of characters. Next door was the Vietnam Vet (that’s what his ball cap and bumper sticker said) who shared his room with a 21 year-old (maybe?) Latino boy who dressed like Michael Jackson on the Thriller album cover.

Every morning in the lobby I chatted with a very, very tall white guy with a long white pony tail who only wore white clothes. His eyes were iceberg blue. He spoke softly and walked with a cane. He was friendly and charming. I'm sure he's a serial killer.

Down at the far end of the low-slung brick establishment lived a mother and her five children. I met at least three other interesting people who also call Motel 87 their home. They were all very nice. Creepy and sad, but nice.

The first three or so days into my stay I felt like I was watching a bizarre Tennessee Williams play whenever I returned to the motel. Then, on my fourth evening there I became horribly aware that some crazy lady with un-washed hair, no makeup and eyes like a mental patient was laughing too long and too loudly at toddlers being chased by Canadian Snow geese at the 87 Motel “pond.”

It was me. Crazy, mud-caked Sandra O’Day.

I was no different from the main cast of characters at 87 Motel, I was just a minor character -- there for only five days.

The clean up continues. No longer at 87 Motel, but still not back at O’Day Camp.

Hurricane Irene

2011-09-15T13:48:00.007-04:00

Hello O'Dayers! O'Day Camp was hit pretty hard by Hurricane Irene, and we flooded again the week after thanks to Tropical Storm Lee. Here are some photos. More thoughts on floods, hurricanes and disasters in general to come.

Namaste, bitches! (Part Three)

2011-07-07T12:41:00.002-04:00

I recently lost a bet and spent a month and a half at an ashram.

Every weekend rich ladies come to the ashram. They were perfectly botoxed and tucked so that no look of surprise or concern would ever cross their faces. They all look alike, with their weird paralyzed faces and fear of being over 40. But that’s not why I hated them.

I hated them because the monks couldn’t. Or wouldn’t. The monks are nice to everybody! They’re even nice to whining complaining bitches who show up to yoga in an ashram wearing pink velour sweats with “Juicy” on the patootie. (Or wearing Lululemon.)

They would bitch about the ashram not having hair dryers and then they’d bitch about the scratchy towels. I hated their loud, annoying Long Island and New Jersey voices as much as I hated the clenched whine of the Connecticut women.

Their gold “Ohm” necklaces snagged in their ridiculous earrings while they were in downward dog pose.

They would form cliques to make each other feel small and left out while they raced to enlightenment.

They showed up every weekend in a Prius and Lexus parade. And my stinky monk was just as nice to them as he was to me.

I learned something on those weekends:

Loathing the annoying will not make them less loathsome or annoying.

If you cannot stand someone, it’s only because you recognize something of them in yourself. Otherwise you wouldn’t care.

Lululemon is spendy, but I like it.

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-02T11:20:00.001-04:00

I got this email and couldn't agree more. Pass it on folks. And happy 4th of July!
-Sandra

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.

I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2011
1. Term Limits.
12 years only, one of the possible options below..
A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms

2. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.

4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/12.
The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message. Maybe it is time.

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!! If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete.

Namaste, bitches! (Part Two)

2011-06-01T14:21:00.001-04:00

I recently lost a bet and spent a month and a half at an ashram.

Meditation is a daily part of life at the ashram. I’m not a fan of meditation. It reminds me of when I was in prison and doing solitary confinement.

I tried to get out of daily meditation like a fat girl tries to get out of gym class.

But the monk with halitosis, the one who seemed to take a special, relentless interest in me, told me I had to go or he’d have my Starbucks Via confiscated.

With my caffeine on the line, I attended meditation class. But there was always something wrecking my meditation attempts.

First, there is the non-stop screaming in my head.

Stinky the Monk told me everyone has this. Especially people who use too much caffeine. I refuse to believe him.

Then there was a mouse running willy-nilly through the meditation room. The screaming in my head became audible to all. Then there was a week of jack-hammering construction at the ashram. After that, there were flies in the meditation room. Not just a few flies, I’m talking flies-on-starving-children-in-Africa type of flies.

Finally, after two weeks of disaster-proportioned distractions, the meditation room grew quiet. “Perfect,” I thought. “Let’s do this meditation thing.” And that’s when the screaming in my head took me to the mat. I had a full-blown panic attack after five minutes of trying to sit with my own silence.

Stinky the Monk came to my aid. He sat next to me, and his horrible, foul breath was the distraction I needed to sit still.

I learned something from my stinky monk.

1) When left alone with only my thoughts I need something outside of myself to struggle against to feel “OK” again.
2) A stinky monk is like training wheels for meditation.
3) Meditation is a practice. You can’t get it right and you can’t get it wrong. This is confusing for a beginner.

What struggles do you hold on to so that you don’t have to confront yourself? I’m curious.

More ashram stories to follow. Namaste, bitches.

Namaste, bitches! (Part One)

2011-05-23T08:57:00.004-04:00

I recently lost a bet and spent a month and a half at an ashram.

Full confession: I drink too much coffee. I like my “caffeine can-do” rush.

At the ashram, there is no coffee. There is tea. Tea made of twigs and boiled sock water. This tea will not get you high. It will make you vomit, though.

I also like sweets. Cake. Cookies. Cakes shaped like cookies ... There are no real cookies at the ashram, there are only vegan cookies. One will not catch a sugar high from vegan cookies, one will merely catch a hot rush of anger when someone gives you reconstituted eraser and calls it cake.

There are no computers at the ashram.

On my fifth day of going through withdrawal from coffee, cookies and computers (the holy C3 as I now call them,) I threw a tantrum.

I had a tantrum because I wanted my computer. I wanted to at least look at pictures of cookies and coffee and I wanted to facebook about how awful the ashram was for not having such everyday items.

A monk took pity on me and whispered that he would take me to a computer. My tantrum immediately stopped -- not because I was happy but because the monk’s breath was so horrible it made my eyes cross.

He giggled as he lead me through the maze of the building, across the garden, through an actual maze of evergreen shrubs, down a hill, past goats, and into a small shed. He pointed inside the shed and I went in. And there, in the shed, was an abacus. And just as I realized I had been totally tricked he LOCKED ME IN THE SHED.

Those of you who have taken my workshops know that the ol’ “locking them in the shed” move is one of my own. And this garbage-breathed monk had turned my own tables on me!

The game was on. I broke out of the shed by shattering the window with the abacus. I hitchhiked into town, found a Starbucks, drank a venti double red eye and bought stacks of Via. Then I walked three hours in the rain back to the ashram.

I learned three lessons that day from my stinky monk:

1) Sometimes you have to be “trapped” to realize how free you actually are.
2) An abacus makes a great blunt instrument.
3) A three hour walk in the rain is refreshing if you've just had a venti double red eye.

More ashram stories to follow. Namaste, bitches.

Loser

2011-05-16T13:09:00.000-04:00

So, back in March I made a bet with a “friend” of mine. If I won, she would have to spend a month in my rigorous life-changing program at O’Day Camp. But if she won the bet, I would have to spend a month at an ashram.

I lost.

I spent a month at an ashram.

And then, mid-April, I made a bet with one of the monks at the ashram. If I won, he would have to spend a month in my rigorous life-changing program at O’Day camp. (And I was so looking forward to helping him screw his head on straight.) But, if he won the bet, I’d have to spend three more weeks at the fucking ashram.

I lost again.

I will share with you my intense and personal stories of ashram time after I take a shower, use deodorant, eat some meat and drink too many martinis.

You’re Not On The News

2011-03-13T11:38:00.005-04:00

March has come in like a lion. Like an ass-whuppin’ sadistic, son-of-a-gun angry lion. And the whining is deafening.

Instead of standing up to March and saying, “Yeah, bring it,” most people are crying to their shrinks about how sad and weary they are.

People we’re all sad and weary. It’s been one of the longest, crappiest winters in history. Just ask Janice Huff.

But the fact is, we’re not on the news. Know who’s on the news? Japan. Japan is on the news. Plane crashes are on the news. Tidal waves, earthquakes and disease are on the news. (And Janice Huff is on the news, but she’s a meteorologist.)

You’re not on the news. So stand up, go outside and get some exercise. Stop looking at the ground and griping about the mud. Look at the sky, which for once isn’t dropping buckets of frozen precipitation on our heads, and take in the fact that you can breathe and dance and drink fresh water by turning on a tap. (Unless there is fracking near you.)

You’re not on the news, people. Things are looking up.

Nowie Wowie!™

2011-02-24T15:54:00.002-05:00

Those of you who know me, who have worked with me, who have bought my books and created Powerful Positive Change in your lives know that I’m not messing around when you show up to work with me.

You want to change? It will start NOW. Not later, not next week, not someday in the future. It will happen NOW. I call it the Nowie Wowie!™

For the past month, though, I’ve been up at O’Day Camp working with a group of namby-pamby whiners. I’ve locked them in cabins in the freezing cold and instead of breaking out and breaking free they sit there rocking back and forth whining and crying. We’ve done Shatter Your Limits™ exercises on the frozen river and they’ve complained the whole time that the ice is “slippery” and they’re “cold”. I pushed them into Kill It or Starve™ exercises and instead of eating meat they’re eating the frozen lilac bush and licking snow.

They want gradual. They want to play it safe. They are addicted to their whining and blaming others. They refuse to take responsibility for themselves.

People, planting a seed and watering it is not change, it’s growth. Gradual change is either growth or erosion; it’s not true powerful, change. True change is a rockslide, fire, a tornado -- immediate need to reconcile yourself with a bright new life.

Drop the whining like a hot rock, people, and get out there and make some powerful, positive change.

Probably People

2011-01-20T20:43:00.001-05:00

If someone says to you, “I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” they “probably” shouldn’t. People who engage in this kind of manipulative gossip need to be rounded up and shipped to their own island where they can torture each other in a “Lord of the Flies” kind of way. Their whispered secrets, nasty rumors and flat-out lies are merely pathetic attempts to puff their egos by deflating someone else’s.

What do the Probably People get out of telling you something they “probably” shouldn’t? They get the satisfaction of spinning you into the murk of self-doubt. They balloon themselves on smugness with the power of “probably.” They make themselves feel big by making you feel small.

Don’t have any truck with the “Probably People.” And don’t be one. No one like a gossiping weasel-faced, back-biting jerk.

Top 10 List for Tourists in New York City

2011-01-14T14:04:00.001-05:00

As you may know, the O’Day offices are in Midtown Manhattan, right on 42nd Street near the Port Authority, which is North America’s largest bus terminal.

To get to a subway we have to walk across 42nd Street through Times Square -- the section of our city filled with neon signs where they drop the crystal ball every New Year’s Eve.

It’s a busy place packed with tourists. While we love tourists here in New York, sometimes they need a little help. Here are a few pointers for our very welcomed guests:

1) You need to be fit enough to walk at least two miles in order to get around New York. Certainly there are accommodations for people in wheelchairs, but for those of you who are “able-bodied” but who spend most of your time in your hometown sitting in a chair, on a couch, or in your car, you might want to exercise a little before you get here if you don't already. New York is a city of sidewalks and stairs, and most of us walk at least a mile a day just running errands and going to and from the subway. And to get in and out of the subway you’re going to have to go up and down stairs. Several flights of stairs per subway trip.

2) Don’t stop at the top of the subway stairs. There are people behind you. Lots and lots of people behind you. When you stop the entire line of people behind you have to stop, and they will send you waves of hate for slowing them down. Remember, millions of people actually live here and they’re trying to get to work, or get home, or pick up their kids from school, or just get somewhere. Keep moving, and pull over to the side if you need to catch your breath or look at a map.

3) Ask a New Yorker for directions. We really love our city, even when it’s driving us crazy. We like to show off our knowledge. It doesn’t matter if we look cranky or absorbed in thought, ask a New Yorker for directions. (But not if someone is trying to talk on a cell phone. Seriously, that’s just bad manners.) Chances are, when you ask for assistance, the person you ask will know how to help and then two or three other New Yorkers will pipe in with suggestions, and you’ll end up getting great directions plus extra tidbits of advice.

4) It’s a sidewalk. A Side WALK. Sidewalks are like highways here in New York City, you need to keep moving. When you STOP suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk people behind you might walk up your butt or knock you over, and it isn’t anybody’s fault but your own. Those people behind you who do stop in time will send you hate vibes. When you stop suddenly in the middle of a sidewalk here in New York City you create a barrier for the hundreds of people behind you. So if you really need to stop you should pull over to the side, just like you would if you were driving on a highway. If you stop in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk you come off as rude and stupid.

5) Revolving doors are not brain-teasers. There are many revolving doors here in the city and they’re not that hard to figure out. You push on the push bar, and you go through one at a time. If you wedge your patootie in with some stranger in a revolving door you are going to be lectured, at the very least. If you are unsure of how to use a revolving door, best to watch others do it, then try for yourself.

6) Tip. If you go to a restaurant you need to leave the waiter a tip. To calculate the appropriate amount look at your bill, double the amount shown on the tax, and leave it for the waiter. Don’t be cheap.

7) Go to the theater! We have some great shows here, on and off Broadway! Make sure you turn off your cell phone before the show, and never text during a show. If you see someone texting during a show make sure you tell an usher. People who text during a show get arrested and have to spend at least 24 hours lost in the New York judicial system -- and they deserve it! Also, it’s illegal to take photos during a show. Just a head’s up.

8) Don’t stop. When you go through a turnstile, keep moving. When you go through the metro entrance, keep moving. When you enter a building, a museum, a theater, keep moving. Just because you’ve crossed a threshold doesn’t mean there aren’t people behind you. What kind of silly-nilly stops in a doorway?! Keep moving!

9) Walking four or five across is a bad idea. We all understand you’re visiting with family and friends, but to walk shoulder to shoulder with all those people is really crazy. And selfish. There is no need to form a slow-moving barrier. Clump it up, and help keep our city moving.

10) Keep Moving. Unless you’re from Mexico City or Hong Kong or an old-world city where people walk rather than drive from strip mall to strip mall, there are a lot more people here than you’re used to. Try to enjoy the hustle and flow. Our city is like a heart, and the people are the blood running through the veins of the city. Don’t be system-threatening plaque that clogs things and causes trouble. Get into the music of being a part of our crowd. Don’t stop dancing, go with the flow.

Make It!

2011-01-01T12:32:00.004-05:00

So many people start off a new year wishing for wonderful things. But I say, “Why WISH?” Why put energy into crossing our fingers and knocking on wood and shopping for a new rabbit’s foot key chain?

Wishing brings out the WISHY-WASHY! Do you want to hang out with a wishy-washy, limp-rag, decision-making-impaired lazy-bones! Of course not! So why would you want to be one?

I say put away your wish and put on your MAKE. What are you going to MAKE happen this year? What are you going to MAKE happen this month? What are you going to MAKE happen this day?

Let’s put our MAKE on and MAKE some goals, people! I’m not talking “resolutions,” because “resolutions” can be broken. Every year in mid-January people sit around bars and pizza places all over America and whine about how they “broke their resolutions” after only a week. Then they order a pitcher of calories and have another bite of something double-crusted and stuffed with cheese. I know a lot can go into resolve, but resolve is far too easy to dis-solve!

But when you MAKE a goal the road is always open to meet that goal.

But Sandra, what if I get sidetracked and veer off the road and go traipsing in the woods?

The woods happen, people! Drop some crumbs to find your way out -- then get back on the road and achieve your goals.

You MAKE a map when you’re clear about what your goals are. A goal can always be met. Goals are the road signs on the Yellow Brick Road to your own, personal Emerald City.

Happy 2011! We’re going to MAKE this a fantastic year!

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.

Merry (take a breath) Christmas

2010-12-24T18:14:00.002-05:00

Well, here we are again. A wonderful time of year. A stressful time of year, but it can also be wonderful. If you don't let your family drive you crazy.

Remember to breathe, count to 10, and do it again as needed.

That way when you're sitting in the kitchen of your family's trailer watching your Druncle pass out in the sink and your mother smoking her 50th Kent Menthol with her hook-for-a-hand -- you can just breathe and relax. Swipe the fifteen cats off the kitchen counter with one fell swoop and pour yourself a well-deserved eggnog.

But take it easy on the eggnog, because no one needs to lose another tooth again this year. Remember, Christmas only comes once every 12 months. And it doesn't last forever. Hang in there.

Merry Christmas,
Sandra

Top Anger Management Blogs

2010-12-06T17:12:00.001-05:00

Cool. I'm now an official resource for those actively managing their anger.
Dig it.

OnlineCounselingDegrees.com

">Top Anger Management Blogs

The TSA Security "Protest"

2010-11-22T09:35:00.004-05:00

Personally, I’d rather be scanned and patted-down than blown up in an airplane. That’s just me.

But then I knew people who were blown out of the sky over Lockerbie Scotland. And I knew a firefighter who was running up the towers when they came down.

You might know someone who has been killed thanks to angry religious fanatics, too. I think it’s a good idea to make it harder for them to blow us up, as best as we possibly can.

Seems to me the people who are most concerned about being patted down are people who have body issues and who don't get laid. I can’t imagine a TSA officer enjoys patting your flabby American body looking for weapons any more than you like it. But there are plenty of people out there who would get a big kick out of you being dead. Especially if you were completely terrorized in an airplane with a bunch of other innocents while it happened. Think your “freedom” is being taken away? How about your life?

Wake up, people. You live in a bulls-eye if you live in America. Until we wise-up and apply some imagination and start profiling every single person who walks into the airport you will have to be searched and scanned. It doesn’t matter what you look like. We’re all part of the game now. It’s not fair. But life isn’t fair. And if you want to stay in this “horribly unfair” life game, shut up and get scanned and stop slowing the rest of us down. We just want to get home in one piece.

Take off your shoes and keep the line moving folks, and welcome to America in the 21st Century.

Happy Thanksgiving. And I mean that.

Before You Open Your Mouth

2010-11-16T11:23:00.002-05:00

At a seminar I was giving yesterday one of the attendees raised her hand and I called on her. This is what she said:

"Um. Yeah. My question, or comment or whatever it will end up being is kinda', um ..."

And I stopped her right there. People, when you open your mouth to speak you should know if you're going to ask a question, share a comment or just blather. And if you're just going to blather feel free to go to a seminar other than mine.

Think before you speak. It's a simple thing. Try to formulate that embryo of a spark of a thought into some sort of form. That way, you prevent others from wading through the vast wastelands of your mental vomit.

And if you can't do that at least have the decent manners to remain mute.

The Crazy Game

2010-11-08T16:37:00.003-05:00

Boy, oh boy. I sure have had a lot of One-On-One O'Day Power Sessions lately. And you know what I've discovered? People are ADDICTED to being CRAZY!

Here are a few of the choice phrases I've been hearing: "Oh, I’m so crazy," "Sometimes I just go crazy," "I’m just a little crazy," "My friends all know I'm crazy!"

Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. As if being crazy is something to be proud of! As if neurosis and nuttiness were something to NURTURE!

People who give themselves the label “crazy” just want you to call them crazy, too. Don’t do it! Don't encourage crazy!

Let them call themselves crazy. Because eventually they'll figure out "Crazy" is synonymous with “Lonely” and “Boring.” The crazies are just too much work. All they want is attention, and they’ll probably never get enough – because they won’t give it to themselves! And THAT is just CRAZY.

Dog Poop and Banana Peels

2010-09-30T16:25:00.003-04:00

I’m walking down the sidewalk to the O’Day offices in Hell’s Kitchen yesterday and I notice that the pavement is filthier than usual. It’s so disgusting I hold my breath. I contemplate burning my shoes.

The cement is stained with urine streams. Garbage and fecal matter are everywhere I look. Dog poop, banana peels, dog poop ON banana peels ...

And then I see these people.

SITTING ON THE SIDEWALK! Look at the photo! There is a urine stain right next to them!

PEOPLE! This is New York City! Sitting on the sidewalks here is like being a urinal cake in the men’s room at the Port Authority bus station!

Don’t sit on the sidewalk! Get a grip, for crying out loud! You want to get MRSA? Ebola? You want scabs to form on your eyes?

You’d be safer and cleaner in a crack whore’s ass than sitting on a sidewalk near Times Square!

Get up. Get your ass OFF the pavement. No one is THAT tired.

Inspiration Everywhere

2010-09-13T22:38:00.000-04:00

I saw this in a children's joke book I was reading in the O’Day Camp library this weekend:

Q: Where can you always find a helping hand?

A: At the end of your arm.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

Off With Their Pants!

2010-09-07T14:16:00.005-04:00

What separates the men from the boys? Pants. Back in the “Olde Dayes” boys wore short pants until they were considered to be adults. When they started behaving like grown ups they got a pair of real pants.

Now, in a tremendous burst of irony, we have this:

All they way under their butt cheeks. The front of the pants right at their little penises. (I have to assume their penises are little, otherwise those pants would be riding a bit higher.)

What can we do about it, Sandra? People are just stupid.

I’ll tell you what we can do about it! I did it today on the subway stairs coming out of the F train and it was fantastic!

Pants the idiots!

That’s right, sneak up behind them and yank those stupid pants down! They can’t chase you, ‘cause their pants are around their ankles. And it takes them too long to pull them up and position them in that oh-so-special penguin-walk way. Sure you’ll have to run a little, but we can all use a little extra cardio.

Let’s start flash mobs of pants-ers! Let’s all descend on Times Square and pants the stupid idiots.

And keep your cameras ready. I’m on Facebook and I want to see the photos.

It's Got Nothing To Do With You

2010-08-23T09:27:00.001-04:00

Here’s something you hear in New York frequently, “It’s got nothing to do with you.” You hear it on the street all the time, especially from people screaming on their cell phones.

But there is terrific truth to the phrase, “It’s got nothing to do with you.” It just means you shouldn’t take everything so darn personally. Nothing anyone in the world does has anything to do with you. Even if someone is doing something really terrific or even something really crappy to you, it has nothing to do with you. What someone else is doing, saying, thinking or feeling has everything to do with them, and nothing to do with you.

The one thing we all have in common is that we’re always thinking of ourselves. Our actions, viewpoints and words have everything in the world to do with us and what we want and how we want others to see us.

It has nothing to do with you. And that’s a good thing.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

Don't Fix It, Move On

2010-08-02T21:24:00.002-04:00

I just spent the past five hours in an intense One-On-One O'Day Power Session with a client who wanted to change her past. For four hours and fifty-five minutes I listened to her go on and on and on about what she wishes she could do over and change.

Sister, if I had a dollar for every time I wished for a do-over I'd be a kerbillionaire.

But you can't change your past. It's done. Over. You can't fix it or improve it or tinker with the truth. The past is past.

My client finally lamented, "I just want to put my life back in drive and move forward," to which I replied, "Then stop looking in the rear view mirror."

Stop looking behind, people. Stop looking back. Throw you life into drive and step on the gas. Make it new and get it right this time. Or as close to right as you can.

See you on the road!

People are like Slinkies

2010-07-26T15:14:00.004-04:00

I got an e-mail this morning from a client, and it really tickled my funny bone.

"Some people are like Slinkies -- not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs."

That is so true!

Back when I was a criminal, before I had taken 120 hours of anger management courses plus the mandatory refresher course every five months, I was fond of pushing, shoving and punching any idiot who irked me or got in my way. Those were the days!

But I've embraced Powerful Positive Change (PPC) and have moved into new territory in my life.

These days, when encountering complete ass-wipes, I take a deep breath, count to ten -- twenty if I have to, and I do my best not to take their rude, stupid behavior personally.

So, as we slog our way through this hot and humid summer let's keep our ire in check as our cities are invaded by slow-moving, slack-jawed tourists with extreme mental problems.

Take a deep breath, count to ten, and think of those slinkies!

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.

99 Cent Dreams

2010-07-19T22:26:00.004-04:00

Maybe if you invested more in your dreams they wouldn't be so shoddy. And made of cut-rate plastic from China. Invest in your dreams, people. Don't just buy cheap junk and fill up your home with trash. Chuck the garbage and invest in a Sandra O'Day One-On-One O'Day Power Session. Sure I'll lock you in a creepy cabin for a few days, but once I'm done with you you'll bust out as a new, better person.

And you won't have to dust a bunch of cheap plastic figurines made by slaves in China .

It's not the heat ...

2010-07-12T19:28:00.005-04:00

Boy oh boy have I been hearing a whole lot of whining lately.

"It's so hot."

"I have to run my air conditioning all day."

"It's too hot to cook, let's take a taxi to the sushi place."

People! Get. A. Grip. You're not in Calcutta.

What amazes me most about this weather is that folks complain more about the heat than the inappropriately dressed citizens. It's getting disgusting. People, just because it's over one-hundred degrees it doesn't mean you should bare your seven flabby elbows and fifteen ass cheeks while you shuffle around town in FLIP FLOPS.

I'm not saying you have to wear linen or seersucker suits with a straw hat, but you also don't have to wear teeny-tiny shorts that show your butt crack. I swear to God I was walking up the subway behind a woman whose ill-fitting white pants were so low that her hairy ass crack was exposed. At first I thought it was her vagina! I didn't know if she was coming or going!

And gay boys -- the slack shorts are very fancy but if I can see the outline of your balls they are TOO TIGHT!

And taxi drivers, ENOUGH. Use deodorant. Wash daily. 'Cause I'm starting a silent protest. If your taxi driver is smelly, tip poorly. Or tip in trial-sized Mitchum.

People, we can't avoid summer. But if we work together we can make it less disgusting.

Celebrate True Independence

2010-07-05T15:12:00.002-04:00

Think for yourself.

Just because people mean what they say it doesn’t make what they're saying true.

Do the hard work and think for yourself.

Don’t be a lazy-ass-turd-ball and wait for someone to hand you your beliefs and opinions. You don’t let strangers chew your food for you and spit it into your mouth for crying out loud! So don’t let them digest all the latest ideas for you and puke them into your brain!

Independent thought is going the way of the Dodo Bird in this country. Let’s try and save it.

The "Not My Fault" Game

2010-06-28T12:30:00.003-04:00

The “Not My Fault Game” happens when you pretend you don’t have control over your own affairs. It often sounds like this, “You didn’t wake me up on time!” “You didn’t pack the toothpaste!” “You didn’t remind me that your crazy family was visiting this weekend.”

Here’s another example:

You look outside and say to yourself, “Hmm, it sure does look like rain.” But you don’t trust your instincts so you switch on The Weather Channel, but The Weather Channel is too busy playing scary music and pondering what would happen if a hurricane hit Kansas that they don’t mention your local forecast. At all.

So even though you think it looks like rain, you don’t “burden” yourself with an umbrella because the TV didn’t tell you to. Then, when you get drenched in a torrential downpour you’re mad at the weather person. You blame The Weather Channel because you were too lazy to think for yourself and take an umbrella on a day when it looks like it’s going to rain!

People, keep track of your own schedule. Balance your bankbook. Grab an umbrella. Follow your instincts and stop sloughing your responsibility onto other people. Step up to the plate and think for yourself.

Get Out of the Worry Game!

2010-06-21T10:21:00.002-04:00

Worry is pointless. Even crazy fundamentalists of any stripe will tell you that. “Let go and let God,” they say. It works for them. Some people whisper to little worry dolls at night choosing to shift their burdens to tiny pieces of straw wearing clothes. Some folks stick pins in a pillow stuffed with lavender. Others light Glade Scented Candles and have a cocktail while they soak in a bubble bath crying and listening to Pasty Cline. If it works, good for you. There is more than one way to ditch worry.

Worry will never, ever work in a positive way.

Do you know what you’re trying to do when you worry? Prevent bad things from happening. But you can’t. So don’t try. Worry is pointless.

If you worry over what could be, trying to imagine what might happen, you are not thinking about the future. You are writing a play. A worry play. Stop. It’s not interesting, useful or productive.

Get out of the worry game.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.

"Inspiration"

2010-06-14T14:13:00.007-04:00

Those of you who work with me, read my books or even merely read my blog on a regular basis know that I hate the frou-frou world of “inspiration.” This “inspiration” tends to be made up almost entirely of potpourri-smelling teddy bears with nifty saying on their t-shirts, refrigerator magnets, and various mugs, posters, cards and other cheap crap made in China.

Here’s an “inspirational” quote from a mug I found in one of those balloon-filled shit shops.

At last the ladder,
which had been built
slowly, slowy
one hope at a time
reached up to the clouds.
And the dreamer began to climb.

You’re building a ladder with hopes? Hopes? Why not build a ladder with goals? Or planning? Or WOOD!

Yeah, I bet that ladder was built slowly.

It reached up to the clouds? Why do you want to go there? What is that ladder resting on? What is it you’re looking for in the CLOUDS? How ‘bout you pull that dreaming head of yours out of your butt and get to work right here on the GROUND where you can actually make something happen.

And the dreamer began to climb? Yeah, climb away from responsibility and common sense.

People! Set some goals! Make a map of where you want to be and work to get there. The only thing you’re going to get in the clouds is humidity. And maybe hit by an airplane.

Click here for inspiration:

Can’t and Drunkle

2010-06-07T10:39:00.003-04:00

I made the mistake of letting guilt rule my mind this weekend and I took a long bus ride to the land of the toothless. The land where people think Mountain Dew is the perfect beverage, even for the baby.

I went to visit my hillbilly “Aunt who Can’t” and “Drunken Uncle”. Or, as I like to think of them, my Can’t and Drunkle.

Why did I go? Because I thought I should help them. I thought I might be able to apply some Sandra O’Day “Can-Do” to their situation.

Note to self: don’t try to help if no one has asked. Especially in a family situation.

When I arrived my Drunkle was passed out, so he was the most charming person I dealt with. My Can’t was wearing a “house coat.”

Can’t: Oh, Sandy honey, I’m sorry I’m wearing this old house coat, but I just can’t put on any clothes today.

Sandra O’Day: Why not?

Can’t: They just don’t fit me right no more.

Sandra O’Day: Why don’t you buy bigger clothes?

Can’t: I ain’t got no money.

Sandra O’Day: So lose a little weight.

Can’t: I can’t, my diabetes makes it too hard.

At this point my Aunt who Can’t drank an entire Mountain Dew in one gulp. I’m surprised she didn’t eat the can.

Sandra O’Day: Tell you what, I’ll go to the store with you and buy you some new clothes.

Can’t: Ohhh, fancy city girl thinks she’s too good to spend time with her Auntie who wears house coats. Is that what they teach you in the big city? Is that what happens when you move to a big city in a big building with running water and electricity at the pull of a string?

It went on like this for most of the day. I questioned my own sanity for visiting. I tried not to smash my head repeatedly against a tree when my most humiliating childhood stories were told and retold again and again and again. The highpoint of the day was turning my Drunkel on his side when he vomited so he wouldn’t aspirate.

At the end of the evening, when I asked for a ride back to the bus station this is what I got:

Can’t: Ohhh, Sandy. You don’t never pay us visits no more. Why don’t you never visit us?

Sandra O’Day: I’m visiting you now.

Can’t: You should visit more often. I don’t know why you don’t visit us more often. Your uncle misses you so much ...

Sandra O’Day: He’s been passed out since I got here six hours ago.

Can’t: No he ain’t! He misses you! He wants you to come visit ...

The “why don’t you never visit” conversation went on until I was boarding the bus.

On the bus ride home I sat next to a vegan who clipped her nails almost the entire time. Toes and fingers. I’m guessing she’s a long-lost cousin.

Lesson learned: You don’t have to visit anyone who’s completely insane and living a toxic life because you think you Should. When you think you Should you’re just trying to make yourself feel better by wanting to change someone else's situation. Your Should will only make you feel worse.

Don’t Should all over yourself.

Fat Neighbor

2010-06-02T08:46:00.001-04:00

GOYA!

My neighbor in New York City is a very large, unhealthy, junk food addict. She works from home, so she rarely leaves her small apartment.

We New Yorkers live in the most convenient city in the word –- a city where you can have anything delivered, and my neighbor most certainly has everything delivered.

She even had an exercise ball delivered, which popped soon after she sat on it. She was disappointed not because it popped, but because she had hired somebody to blow it up for her and wasted the money.

Recently she adopted a scrappy looking dog. Dogs need to be taken for walks on a regular basis. Amazingly, my neighbor is doing this chore herself, and I think she may be dropping some pounds.

I saw her on the street the other day and had the following conversation:

Sandra O'Day: Hey Neighbor! Cute dog. What's his name?

Big Neighbor: I named him Goya.

Sandra O’Day: Because you like Goya beans and food products?

(Silence)

Big Neighbor: No. It’s an acronym. Goya stands for Get Off Your Ass.

Sandra O’Day: I’m stealing that from you.

Big Neighbor: Take it and run with it, O’Day.

Do it folks! G.O.Y.A.!

Stephen Riley of the UHO is a Turd-Faced Thief

2010-05-17T08:08:00.009-04:00

On March 24th, 2008 I published a blog about the UHO being a big, fat scam. I got a comment on that post on May 15th, 2008 from Vonte Vakel Johnson, a UHO worker. The original post and Vonte's comment here:

http://sandraoday.blogspot.com/2008/03/mr-hobo-selfish-bum-from-united.html

A judge shut down the UHO:

http://www.myfoxny.com/dpp/news/shame/091215-judge-shuts-down-uho

This morning I got an e-mail from Vonte, clearly feeling very, very scammed:

i was totally pissed when i found out that steve riley of uho was taking the fee money i was giving him for his own personal kitty fund while i was living day by day. how F**ked up is that?
now the stupid C**ksucker has the balls to open up streettalk news in midtown manhattan. he even sent his goons to force me to join so he can F**k me out of my money. Thjat N***er ain't getting S*it frm me. I wish The F**k i wold give that Basterd my money. i don't know how i'll live from day to day. When that shut him down in december of 09 i took an cup and begged on the corner. I'm going to live so i can improve my life. no matter what. i'm doing ok but not big time. i'm surviving. that's all any body can ask for.

yours truly

vonte vakel johnson.

Hang in there, Vonte. I'm rooting for you. And I hope Stephen Riley gets his own very special hell -- sooner rather than later.

Life is More ...

2010-05-10T09:47:00.003-04:00

I overheard this on the street:

"Life is more than just shooting at somebody."

Let this be our Monday meditation.

Transcript of a One-On-One O’Day Power Session

2010-05-03T16:04:00.004-04:00

Sandra O’Day: Let’s get to the bottom of all this whining.

Client: I don’t mean to whine, I’m just not happy.

Sandra O’Day: Tell me exactly what it is you want. What is it that you feel you don’t have now that would make your life better.

Client: I want to be married.

Sandra O’Day: Fine. Now imagine that you’re married.

Client: OK.

Sandra O’Day: What do you have as a married person that you don’t have now?

Client: A husband.

Sandra O’Day: Right. A husband. So what does a husband give you that you don’t have right now?

Client: Sex.

Sandra O’Day: Uh-huh. What else?

Client: Companionship.

Sandra O’Day: What else?

Client: Money.

Sandra O’Day: OK. I need you to listen to yourself. You tell me that what you need to make your life better is a husband.

Client: Yes.

Sandra O’Day: You want a husband for sex, companionship and money.

Client: Yes.

Sandra O’Day: Girl, you can get all that on your own! You don’t need a husband to give it to you. You need a vibrator, a cat and an ATM machine. Give yourself the things you want first. Don’t dump your expectations onto someone else.

Affirmation

2010-04-26T09:15:00.002-04:00

I know we all have a lot of negative voices in our heads. Old stuff other people put there, negative thoughts we put there, doubts and other blocks we use to weigh us down and keep ourselves in the “safe” place of “not good enough”.

We’re going to do things a little differently today. We’re going to try an affirmation.

What? Sandra! I thought you hated affirmations! You used to call them wimpy people’s brain pacifiers!

That right, I did. Until I was put into a coma and had to scratch my way out of the body booby-trap. I discovered there are all kinds of tools we can use when we can’t use our bodies -- namely our minds!

For example, when someone is an ass on the train during rush hour I know I’d feel better if I could physically jab them in some way. Not kill them, but give them a good slap. But you can’t do that because it leads to assault charges.

But you can use your mind. Instead of taking physical revenge against someone I now prop myself up with this magical little ditty ...

“I am so fucking awesome.”

Try it yourself! Say it!

“I am so fucking awesome.”

You don’t have to use the f-word if you don’t want to. But it does have a kick to it. And you don’t have to feel particularly awesome, you just have to say it. You can say it out loud or to yourself. But say it. Try to say it about fifty times today.

I know I will. Because I am so fucking awesome.

Buck Up

2010-04-19T15:50:00.002-04:00

I worked really hard today ...

My boss is such a jerk ...

My kids are driving me nuts ...

I am so completely stressed out ...

I deserve a treat! A cookie. A box of candy-covered popcorn. A mocha-frappuccino hazelnut vanilla bean latte with whipped-cream and caramel butterscotch sauce on it.

People, we all deserve treats, but that doesn’t mean we should have them.

But my day was so hard. I’ll feel deprived if I don’t indulge!

Oh, you’ll feel deprived like all those people who don’t live in the top 1% of wealth in the world? Like those people “over there” who don’t have clean drinking water, let alone butterscotch? You’ll feel deprived like they do, and that would be bad, right?

People, we don’t fill ourselves up with treats to keep ourselves happy. We fill ourselves up with treats to help us maintain distance from reality.

Walk down any Main Street into super-mall America and you’re walking into one of the most mass-marketed soul pacifying factories in existence. Banners and signs waving in Red White and Blue that read, “Make today special, try a new super-big cookie with sprinkles.”

Make today truly special, folks. Don’t buy yourself that treat for a change and see where that takes your imagination. Stop pacifying your spirit, set it on fire.

Lesson Learned, Back Off

2010-04-12T15:04:00.003-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I was flying to Sarasota, Florida to attend a conference for motivational speakers who have been in comas. Surprisingly, there are more of us than you might think.

As people were boarding the plane a Long Island sounding woman was speaking very loudly on her phone a few rows in front of me. Everyone could hear her conversation as well as smell her hairspray. Clearly she was angry, disappointed and totally feeling screwed over by some guy named Jack. She began screaming, “FUCK YOU, JACK! FUCK YOU, JACK! …” over and over and over.

Now, this was a plane on the way to Florida. Right around Passover and Easter. Smack dab in the middle of Spring Break. So not only were there lots of little kids on board, but there were a whole lot of rich, white-haired grandparents on board traveling with those children. The moment the angry woman started screaming the F-Word I saw seventy tanned, shriveled, Zales brand Cubic Zirconia-laden hands reach for the steward call button. Tennis charm bracelets were tinkling with all the activity and button pushing.

A steward, a pilot and a man wearing dark glasses and a suit were soon standing in the screamer’s aisle. They asked her to apologize to the people around her for her inappropriate language. Sufficiently shamed, she stood, and said, “I’m sorry.” She was clearly mortified.

Immediately following her apology some old biddy with a cross necklace started in with, “You should be! Using that kind of language …” And before she could go any further I stood up and said, “SHE SAID SHE’S SORRY. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO TEACH ANYONE A LESSON WE HAVEN'T ALREADY LEARNED HERE TODAY. NOW ORDER YOUR GIN AND TONIC AND ZIP IT.”

She ordered her G&T and we flew to Sarasota without further incident.

Coma Chameleon

2010-03-14T08:15:00.002-04:00

Boy am I happy to be out of that coma. What a waste of time! Happier still to be moving again, mostly up and about no longer using a walker. It took me five hours to type this, though.

While Sandra Recovers

2010-02-07T12:40:00.002-05:00

While Sandra is recovering I'm re-posting some of her earlier blogs. Here's one about her love for fire.
-Sandra's Assistant

An e-mail from an O’Dayer:

Dear Sandra,
I am curious about your affinity with fire. Are you attracted to it for it's qualities of purification or do you just like to watch things burn?
Just curious.
-A fan.

Dear Fan,
It’s a combination of both those things. Basically I’m a pyromaniac. The American Heritage Dictionary defines pyromania as, “The irresistible urge to start fires.” And, I have to admit, that’s me all right! But ever since I’ve been released from prison I’ve curbed my love for the burn and I no longer set anything and everything on fire. I have a wonderful fire pit up at O’Day camp where I do controlled, within legal limits burns. And yes, I even get permits from the town before I light the fire! So, if you have any old papers you’d like to get rid of –- divorce papers, old tax receipts, bankruptcy papers, love letters, pictures of yourself in sixth grade ... sign up for a trip to O’Day Camp and we’ll get rid of those pesky papers once and for all!

You can e-mail me at PowerofSandra@aol.com

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.

Faking it?

2010-01-18T22:43:00.004-05:00

Um, OK. So Sandra is all in her wheelchair and whatever, and I go outside to feed the geese and when I come back my vintage Holly Hobby Paper Doll Book that I had been working on had been moved -- across the room and closer to the fire! ALMOST IN THE FIRE.

I'm beginning to think she's better than she seems to be.

Test and trial to follow.

-Sandra's Assistant

Hurry Up and Get Well

2010-01-10T13:42:00.004-05:00

So Sandra is slowly progressing in her physical therapy. And she's "speaking." (I don't understand her but I smile and nod a whole lot.) It's very boring. My heart goes out to caregivers who don't get paid to do it and who actually love the person they're caring for.

On the goose front: the three wounded geese are still traveling together. The geese are: Debra Winger (the ringleader), Lefty Winger, and Scrappy Winger. A mallard duck goes everywhere with them. I can't tell what his deal is.

The wildlife expert/goose wrangler won't call me back. So I just feed them. Beats feeding Sandra. At least the geese are afraid of me.

And one of the neighbors keeps shooting a gun. I can hear it "Pop Popping." But I can see the geese, so they don't seem to be the target. Maybe I should dress Sandra in brown and give her an antler hat and set her out in the woods. HAHAHAHA.

-Sandra's Assistant

Goose Update

2010-01-03T12:32:00.000-05:00

While Sandra recuperates here at O’Day Camp I’ve been trying to help some geese with broken wings. At first I thought there was only one, and I named her Debra Winger. Then, the next day she swam over with a friend whose wing is so horribly broken that it sticks up. I named it Left Winger.

Then today I saw Debra and Lefty swimming down river with some ducks, which is a good sign, but there was a goose across the river, on the inlet, that is clearly dying. It just lays on the ice, and sometimes its mate sits next to it.

It was so sad I was crying. Sandra was in the corner in her wheelchair where I had put her with a spoon taped to her hand so she could feed herself jell-o. Well, I look over at her, and she’s gesturing with her spoon at the goose, then at her mouth. Basically saying the goose is cooked and she’s ready to eat it.

Then she started laughing. And drooling.

I’d like to switch her out for that poor goose. See how funny it is then.

-Sandra’s Assistant

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T13:17:00.005-05:00

Happy New Year! So this morning I had Sandra outside in a sled and I was pulling her all around the yard next to the river ... and a goose with a broken wing paddled up and asked for food! I am not kidding! And I said, “Sandra, look, that goose is all a wreck, just like you!” and Sandra said, “Arrighggh.” (We’re still working on getting her speech back.)

Anyhoo, I named the goose Debra Winger. And she likes whole wheat bread. Here’s a pic.

Sandra’s Assistant

Debra Winger Eating Bread

Debra Winger With Bread on Beak

Aarrgh!

2009-12-30T22:22:00.004-05:00

OK, I'm about to put a KNIFE in my HEAD. Sandra can't even talk and she's making me CRAZY! I can't even tuck her blanket in around her in her wheelchair without her giving me a look that says, "You can do better!"

Her other assistants don't come back until the end of January ... I'm not gonna make it.

OK, so I let her fall in a river. And the night nurse stole her camera and rings and cash. And maybe I shouldn't have taped that spoon to her hand to try and get her to feed herself.

Maybe I'm not 100% "On My Game" but DANG! Back off with that look, O'DAY!

--Sandra's Assistant
(for now)

Ball in Water

2009-12-27T10:27:00.003-05:00

OK, so we got Sandra up to O'Day Camp thinking it might improve her mood. And today it's really warm so I thought we should try her physical therapy outside. But there's still some ice on the ground, and the river had gone up ... and both Sandra and her exercise ball fell in the river. We eventually got Sandra out, but her ball went on it's way. Here's a video.
More later,
Sandra's Assistant

Update on Sandra

2009-12-21T10:59:00.003-05:00

Good news! We taped a spoon to Sandra's hand today so she can try to feed herself -- and she tried to stab me with it!!! That's the Sandra we know and love. More reports as they come in.
-Sandra's Assistant

A Note From Sandra's Assistant

2009-12-16T17:46:00.004-05:00

Hey all. For those of you who don't know, shortly after Sandra's last posting she was involved in an altercation on the subway that sent her to a hospital and ICU for the past two months. I am happy to report she has opened her eyes and can now make noises that kind of sound like talking. She is also able to hold a ball in her hand! Progress!

I'm sure she is diligently working toward recovery. She seems to be, anyway.

Sincerely,

Sandra's Assistant

PS -- I'll be posting for Sandra until she gets back. (Now that I have her password!)

Probably People

2009-09-24T17:22:00.001-04:00

If someone says to you, “I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” they “probably” shouldn’t. People who engage in this kind of manipulative gossip need to be rounded up and shipped to their own island where they can torture each other in a “Lord of the Flies” kind of way. Their whispered secrets, nasty rumors and flat-out lies are merely pathetic attempts to puff their egos by deflating someone else’s.

What do the Probably People get out of telling you something they “Probably” shouldn’t? They get the satisfaction of spinning you into the murk of self-doubt. They balloon themselves on smugness with the power of “Probably.” They make themselves feel big by making you feel small.

Don’t have any truck with the “Probably People.” And don’t be one. No one like a gossiping weasel-faced, back-biting jerk.

Birthday Baptism

2009-09-06T10:39:00.001-04:00

For my birthday this year I took a week off and went up to O’Day camp. And I learned something very important on my birthday. The lesson has to do with wine, a full moon, an owl and a kayak. Bottom line, never rush out of a kayak.

Enjoy some cake.

Flaming Exclamation Point

2009-08-14T19:15:00.003-04:00

Toilet Paper People

2009-08-03T23:48:00.003-04:00

There are some folks who always have toilet paper in the house, and then there are those who are completely baffled when the roll runs out and they suddenly find themselves using bits of the Crate and Barrel catalogs to finish up business.

Based on my extensive experience with people of all walks of life I can pretty much make this snap judgment:

People who

A) live alone

and who

B) always run out of toilet paper

are also people who

C) forget to buy pet food, pay bills in a timely fashion and stuff their faces with junk food and chew with their mouths open.

I prefer to work with people who are prepared and aware, but usually I end up working with “Dude, what happened to the toilet paper?” types.

You know who you are. And you know you need to fix yourself so that you can become a marginally functioning person – they rest of us in this country can’t carry you forever.

So step up, grow up, and sign up for a Sandra O’Day workshop.

You can spend two intense days alone with me in my New York City studios – or you can sign up for a five week workshop at my retreat O’Day Camp.

Either way, you need to do something. People are starting to talk and it’s time you know what they’re saying.

I’ll tell you what they’re saying, and I’ll help you change it.

www.sandraoday.com

Jerk-Face Jerk

2009-07-24T09:59:00.006-04:00

Put your legs together you jerk. She can't make herself any smaller for your over-blown ego. You are a jerk and you're lucky I just took a photo and didn't slap you in your tiny balls. (Probation is good for something.)

Label me Sandra

2009-07-20T21:55:00.004-04:00

Our society is extremely superficial. We love labels. We love them! We love labels on our clothing, our cars and especially on ourselves. So folks slap “Christian” on themselves or “Buddhist” or “Liberal” or whatever, and then they feel they’re adequately advertising their beliefs. They’ve got the label, so they think they don’t have to do the work.

Wrong again, Sparky!

People, it’s not what you believe that matters, it’s how you behave. If you call yourself a “Christian” and you judge people before you know their story, if you steal and gossip and commit adultery, you’re not doing the work, you’re just wearing a label! It’s like carrying a Dolce and Gabbana handbag and calling yourself a model. You’re not! You’re a lazy and deluded fatty, so wake up and do the work!

Look, I don’t care what you believe. If you want to make a pyramid of coffee cans in your garage and make an alter to a ceramic cat it’s fine with me, as long as you behave courteously and respectfully toward others. I don’t care if you pray to your bacon in the morning and worship the lint from your dryer as long as you’re thoughtful and aware of those around you. It’s about kindness and decency, people, not about who wears the most popular tag on their ego.

So to those of you "working" at the Times Square "Prayer Station" get a grip and go home. You're a pain in the patootie with your "repent before God destroys you" blathering. We're just trying to get to work, so get out of the way.

The Crap Game

2009-07-06T16:41:00.006-04:00

I recently spent some time with some O’Day Seniors. I took some very nice aged Vermont cheddar to one old gal I visit and she says, “I like yellow American cheese. Now that’s good cheese.” I took another elderly fellow a really beautiful apple pie from a local bakery. A pie I had to order a week in advance and then wait 20 minutes in line to pick up. I give it to the old dude and he promptly goes into his kitchen and comes out with an Entenmann's pie and says to me, “Now this is good pie.”

Orange dairy food product. Gummy assembly line pie filled with ingredients you can’t pronounce. I’ll give it to them. They’re super-old. They can eat all the squeeze cheese and apple goo they want.

But the rest of us need to consider, what kind of crap do we crave? What kind of crap do we shove into our bodies?

Have you ever gotten onto a subway in New York City just as school is being let out? A herd of unhealthy fat kids with McDonald’s wrappers stuck in the corners of their mouths. Fattening themselves up for the pharmaceutical companies so they can make a whole lotta’ dough offfa’ their diabetes drugs and Relacor for stubborn belly fat.

“Oh, but Sandra, fresh vegetables are so hard to find. I’m doing the best I can. I’m stressed out!”

Stressed out? It’s time to stress in folks. Look inside. You can’t make things better by popping a pill when you’re playing the crap game! The pill is just another piece of crap.

Take a good look at what you put into your mouth, people. Ask yourself who benefits. And get out of the CRAP GAME.

Why?

2009-07-01T22:02:00.007-04:00

I spend a whole lot of time getting from appointment to appointment here in New York City and I see a lot of people. This young man stands out, however. Very white, very long ponytail, pants pulled down like a gangstah -- with a tie-dyed shirt. Confusion abounds. I wanted to grab him and force him into a Sandra O'Day One-On-One Power Seminar, but I was afraid I'd never stop slapping him.

Here's a close-up. If you know his mother please make sure she sees this.

Good Short Fire

2009-06-24T10:08:00.003-04:00

Fresh Ground Coffee

2009-06-14T18:42:00.002-04:00

The following conversation took place while I was visiting a friend in her very fancy, extremely expensive Manhattan apartment.

Sandra O’Day : Mmmm. That coffee smells really great, Doris!

Doris the Whiner: It better! It’s a pain in the butt to make.

Sandra O’Day: How so?

Doris the Whiner: Well, I really like super-fresh coffee. So I have to measure the beans, put them in the grinder, grind them, clean the grinder, boil the water, pour the water by hand through the filter bit-by-bit to slowly saturate the coffee ... it just takes a really long time!

A quick silence.

Sandra O’Day: Let me get this straight. You’re complaining about pushing a button on a grinder so that electricity, which you and everyone in your entire city has, will grind the expensive, designer coffee beans. Beans that were hand-picked on a treacherous mountainside in the relentless heat by someone in a developing country who has no electricity or running water and is paid a fraction of a penny for her hard work?

More silence.

Doris the Whiner: Cream and sugar?

Sandra O’Day: Black.

Hateful, Hateful Tribeca Mommies

2009-05-28T15:00:00.004-04:00

Apparently my last posting was too “aggressive” and “violated” some stupid agreement I had made with both my parole officer and anger management therapist. So I ended up back at the smelly hippie “anger management” camp yet again.

And it was worse than last time. We had to hold hands and SING what we were grateful for every morning noon and night. We endured drum circles, talking sticks, rain sticks and regular old stick sticks. Those hippies love their sticks. I had to listen to too many self-indulgent bleeding hearts talk about their FEELINGS. Their stupid, stupid feelings. And I had to eat tofu NOTdogs, which taste like crayons dipped in butt hole.

But now I’m back.

First, I’d like to point out that all you Tribeca mommies sent me plenty of nasty-nasty e-mail. E-mail that is far worse than my last post. Your e-mail was so nasty that I can’t even post it or I’ll be sent back to smelly hippie anger management camp for violating my agreement yet again.

I can say this, however, in response to the e-mail I got from “VintageMommy.”

VintageMommy, at fifty-four years of age you are too old to be breastfeeding. You are not a "miracle of science." You are yucky. Your e-mail name should be DisgustoOldMommyWithAncientLeakySaggyBoobies. You’re going to break your old calcium-deficient hip when you trip on hideous, plastic baby toys. Nobody likes you. Not your husband, not the other Tribeca Mommies, not even your children. Your Franken-Babies are going to grow up, squander your money on charity and join the peace corp. You will have no retirement money left and you will have to go live with them up at their smelly hippie anger management camp.

And I will laugh and laugh and laugh.

Anger Management

2009-05-04T10:34:00.004-04:00

For the past four weeks I’ve had the sheer pleasure of attending a sleep-away camp for anger management. Yes, I was packed off into the woods by a bunch of smelly hippies who were trying to help me get in touch with my “Inner Peace Maker.”

I can tell you why I’m not in touch with my “Inner Peace Maker” on a regular basis. Because people are idiots. They are stupid, rude and they have no sense of personal space. The worst offenders are people with young children. They don’t train their children properly and their hateful spawn are taking over the country. To add insult to injury these “parents” all have dogs. And they don’t clean up after their dogs. In general, these people are tremendous assholes.

(Yes. I’m using curse words. I’ll throw a fiver in the curse jar so the swearword police don’t come after me.)

My offending incident involved asking for a plastic bag at the Whole Foods in Tribeca. I know plastic is bad. I get it. Really. I really do. I usually bring my own bag, I recycle and reuse, all that. But one rainy day in New York City I dashed into Whole Foods and purchased some produce. I don’t travel with my grocery bag at every moment in my existence and I wanted to take my vinegar, lemons and arugula home in a bag that could withstand the rain –- with full plans to use the bag in the future to scoop cat poop into. But while checking out, the cashier at Whole Foods (which should be called Whole Paycheck because it’s so stupidly expensive) asked me, “Paper or plastic?” and I replied, “Plastic.”

A hush descended upon the checkout line as if I had asked for a baby-skin lampshade.

Uber-wealthy, Tribeca, fifty-year-old mommies with toddlers in strollers gasped. Their devil-spawn, designer twins pointed at me in contempt as they drooled onto their five-hundred-dollar matching hemp bibs. I was immediately branded “The Bad Lady Who Wanted Plastic.”

And you know what I did? I told everyone to fuck off. Yes. I know. I violated my parole and my own resolution to curb my use of offensive and aggressive language. But I did it anyway.

I went on a rant about the carbon footprint of designer invitro babies. I did it. I went there.

Did you know that no matter how teensy-tiny your own carbon footprint is your child’s carbon footprint is SIX TIMES BIGGER?! And that’s just one child, not the two you get for the price of one when you let your doctor play GOD.

So fuck you all you rich bitches who are having Five-Hundred-Thousand dollar TWINS while I use my plastic bag for cat shit.

I said all this out loud. And for this public expression of contempt and TRUTH I got a fine from the police for creating a public disturbance.

What about the disturbance of your double wide baby stroller and the shit from your Labradoodle that you don’t pick up?! What about that? No fine for that? WELL, THERE SHOULD BE.

No, Sandra O’Day was the one who had to spend four weeks with stinky hippies in an anger management camp where I had to eat tofu “hot dogs” that tasted like crayons.

Fuck you Tribeca Mommies. I hate you and I want to punch your toddlers in the face. And I’m not alone.

Rihanna, Wake UP!

2009-03-28T00:22:00.005-04:00

Rihanna. Honey. I think someone made a voodoo doll with your face on it. And I think Chris Brown has stuck a few pins in the heart of that voodoo doll, because rumor has it you’re engaged to marry him. I’d like to point out that he used his fists on your face before he made any subtler moves.

I read you also recently got a tattoo. Of a little gun. On your shoulder.

Are you going to shoot him with it when he’s beating you with his fists? Is it supposed to serve as some kind of a reminder to a “better-not-be-a-next-time” clause in your so-called “relationship”?

Rihanna, I’ve served time in prison. I can assure you that the crimes I was incarcerated for pale in comparison to what he’s done to you in the past and what he will do in the future. (Beat your brains out.)

He boxed your face into a pulp before the Grammy Awards so badly that you couldn’t even perform on the show!

Jealous much, Chris Brown?

Your biggest appearance to the nation should have been doing what you do best – SINGING! Instead, you made your biggest splash as the poster girl for abuse in the tabloids the next day.

He is using you to advance his career. And if you don’t play along with his enormous ego you’re going to end up being our next Whitney Houston. A huge talent chained to a toxic loser.

Rihanna, you don’t have to become just another Mrs. Brown.

You don’t have to apologize for being gifted.

No one should ever do that. Wake up, take a deep breath and stop apologizing for being the bigger talent.

An open letter to Rihanna

2009-03-11T21:13:00.006-04:00

Rihanna. Honey. Chris Brown beat you. He made your face look like a peach that had been thrown down stairs. Maybe you need to take a break and testify at his hearing before you start going on vacation with him.

Hooking up with that ape again is stupid and dangerous. It’s a hazard to your health and it sends a message to women everywhere that it’s OK to go back to moronic cavemen who beat them. It’s not OK. It’s wrong. It’s as wrong as drunk driving or huffing spray paint and then operating a forklift.

Tell you what. I’ll send him a T-shirt with the police photo of your beaten face on it. Make him wear it every time you’re with him, so you can get a good look at him and what he did to you. (And what he will do again.)

Have him wear it in the recording studio where you’re recording a duet with him for his new album.

I hope your face isn’t the percussion instrument for the song.

Watch Oprah on Thursday the 12th. She's talking to you.

Wake up, Rihanna. You deserve better, and he deserves time in jail.

The "I'm Not There Yet" Game

2009-03-01T19:31:00.004-05:00

One of my clients recently told me that she can’t have sex with her husband because she doesn’t like her body.

WHAT? A woman who isn’t 100% happy with her body?! How unusual. How unique. (I hope you notice the sarcasm font.)

She said she had gained some weight in the past few years, and her husband is still all over her, but she’s too embarrassed by her body to have sex with him. She said that she’s, “Just not there yet.”

OK, honey, are you insane? He thinks you’re hot. So be hot. Don’t wait until you think you’re sexy -- because most of us can’t live up to our own rigid standards. Your husband, however, still gets rigid when he sees you fresh out of the shower wearing only a towel. HE is the one who desperately wants to help you get out of the “I’m Not There Yet” game.

Take off the towel, knock him onto the bed or the table or the floor and feel good about the fact that HE'S TOTALLY INTO YOU!

People, we’re only as attractive as we let ourselves be. Don’t play the “I’m not There Yet” game. Be there. It’s where you are. It’s called NOW, and NOW is pretty dang sexy.

GOYA!

2009-01-31T11:18:00.003-05:00

My neighbor in New York City is a very large, unhealthy, junk food addict. She works from home, so she rarely leaves her small apartment.

We New Yorkers live in the most convenient city in the word –- a city where you can have anything delivered, and my neighbor most certainly has everything delivered.

She even had an exercise ball delivered, which popped soon after she sat on it. She was disappointed not because it popped, but because she had hired somebody to blow it up for her and wasted the money.

Recently she adopted a scrappy looking dog. Dogs need to be taken for walks on a regular basis. Amazingly, my neighbor is doing this chore herself, and I think she may be dropping some pounds.

I saw her on the street the other day and had the following conversation:

Sandra O'Day: Hey Neighbor! Cute dog. What's his name?

Big Neighbor: I named him Goya.

Sandra O’Day: Because you like Goya beans and food products?

(Silence)

Big Neighbor: No. It’s an acronym. Goya stands for Get Off Your Ass.

Sandra O’Day: I’m stealing that from you.

Big Neighbor: Take it and run with it, O’Day.

Do it folks! G.O.Y.A.!

Is That A Jet in the River ...

2009-01-16T21:07:00.007-05:00

... or are you just happy to see me?

Thanks to pilot Chelsey B. Sullenberger III for safely "ditching" in the Hudson River and not landing in the O’Day offices. Photos taken by my assistant from the office balcony.

What a neighborhood!

Avalanche of Upheaval

2009-01-13T12:52:00.002-05:00

Hello O’Dayers! Greetings from the O’Day offices here in New York City, and boy-howdy has it been busy! 2009 has taken off like a rock rolling down a very steep hill, and there’s no trying to stop it. At first I was overwhelmed by all the new and challenging demands. I was even a little bit frightened that I wouldn’t be in control of my schedule and environment! But then I realized that I was playing the “Control Game!”

Folks, let’s face it. We can improve ourselves, set goals and work toward them, but sometimes our circumstances change. Appliances break down, people show up to stay with you for weeks on end, friends burst into flames. But it doesn’t mean you can’t continue to improve yourself, it just means you have to do so in a completely different environment in which you thought you’d be working.

Trouble starts when you think the events around you are an excuse to stop your self-improvement.

Cookies are not the answer! Skipping a vigorous workout routine is not the answer! Crawling under you bed and crying in the dust-bunnies is not the answer!

Embrace the change! Ride the snowy crest of the avalanche of upheaval –- otherwise you’re going to suffocate in the wet snow of resistance.

So for all of you tumbling head first into 2009 I say, “Ride it out, and ride into the New You!”

Happy Two Thousand and Fine!

2009-01-02T11:30:00.003-05:00

Here we are, O’Dayers! Rolling into another year! And boy, it looks like it will be a real adventure. Two thousand and eight went out with a whirlwind of scandal. Between money trouble on Wall Street, the economy crashing like a lead balloon in a hurricane and the biggest Ponzi scheme in history, we didn’t know which way to turn. Seems the minute we checked our backs for knives someone was pitching horseshoes at our faces.

I remember looking down at my investment statements for one second, saw my money was gone, and looked up to see bankers and CEOs lining up for a government handout. Is Washington a soup kitchen, now?! When did that happen?!

“Oh, boo hoo, boo hoo, nobody will buy the crappy cars I make! Wahhh – Wahhh.”

Let’s get a grip right now, people.

Yes, times are going to be tough. That means we have to keep our chins up and keep plugging, not roll over and whine and kick the air like spoiled fat children.

We made this bed together. So let’s TAKE ACTION right now. It’s time to roll out of our dirty bed, do the laundry and when the bed is made again let’s make it a point not to sleep with people who tell us we can spend three times what we earn. Let’s not hop into the sack with liars just because they act folksy. Let’s remember people’s names and take numbers. It's called responsibility, and it's time to invest in it.

Let's invest in MAKING our dreams come true. No more wishing on stars. Wishing on stars is for lazy animated crickets! Besides, stars are millions of light years away! Why put your dreams off for millions of light years?! Let’s put on our MAKE and TAKE some action!

You can do it, I can help you.

Happy New Year!

www.sandraoday.com
PowerofSandra@aol.com

Happy HolO'Days!

2008-12-21T12:27:00.006-05:00

Happy Holidays O’Dayers!

From all the e-mails I’ve been getting from you I can tell it’s been an interesting season for all of us! There are so many parties and functions to attend, and each one is special in its own way.

I recently attended a Christmas party/reunion for those of us who were either incarcerated in or worked at the Lady Bird Johnson Correctional Facility for Criminal Women.

Let’s face it, if you’ve been in prison and you show up at a reunion you’re there for one of two reasons. You either want to share with folks how great you’re doing and celebrate the spirit of the season or you want to steal stuff from the coatroom.

At our gathering many of my “prison sisters” were a breath of fresh air, women who are now holding jobs, improving their lives, and contributing to society in a positive way. Evie-Marie even had her teeth fixed! (You go, girl!)

The folks who weren’t doing so hot were the former facility officers and prison guards.

Back when we were prisoners, our captors seemed to have their lives together. After all, they were working, they owned homes with above ground pools and they had barbecues on weekends. They seemed to be living life to its fullest because they were not living behind bars. Now I realize that just isn’t true.

Turns out the guards were busy thinking that everyone else’s life was better. They were waiting for life to come to them. And today they are in the exact same place -- waiting for life to come to them. Watching those guards drain cheap beer after cheap beer and listening to them complain about their extremely comfortable, ordinary lives I wanted to give them a one-way ticket to Zimbabwe.

People, we turn on the faucet and have fresh water. We flick a switch and lights turn on. While we all have our own sorrows, we’re really doing pretty well. Complaining about wanting new carpet or gaining five pounds just doesn’t make sense in the long run.

So as we hurtle into the New Year let’s take a moment to see how good we’ve got it. With discipline, hard work and a can-do attitude we will take ourselves further. But let's start that hard journey by being grateful for what we have right now.

E-mail me at PowerofSandra@aol.com

PS -- A special shout out to the folks who completed the Four Day Bailout at O'Day Camp. It was a heck of a long, cold weekend! Kudos to all of you!

Fix Yourself Four-Day Bailout!

2008-11-24T08:34:00.004-05:00

Dear Sandra,

I work at Citibank. For now anyway. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be laid off any minute now. They are literally stacking empty boxes in the hallways for people to pack up all their stuff! What am I going to do? I’m so mad at all the fat cats who are responsible for this. What am I gonna do next?!

-- Vexed in the Citi

Excellent question, Vexed. What are you going to do? Seems everybody is jumping into the “New Great Depression Game.” Even the actors want to go on strike! Why let poverty be the domain of the Wall Street wealthy?

What does one do when stock values plummet, unemployment zooms and recession looms?

You change your life, that’s what you do.

It’s time to take a good, long look at ourselves and ask, “How did we get here at the bottom of this well?” Sure we can point fingers and blame -- but who elected those officials? Who threw their money at financial advisers and didn’t keep track of what was going on? Who bought big fat trucks and cars and houses that they couldn’t afford? That would be us.

It’s time to get out of the “Blame Game.” It’s time to start fixing things, and we need to start with ourselves.

For a limited time I’m offering a no-frills “Fix Yourself Four-Day Bailout!” at O’Day Camp. It’s time to strip your comfort level down to zero and see what you’re really made of. It won’t be fun and it won’t be pretty. But once you experience how lack of heat can turn into abundance of heart -- you’ll know that this lean time of economic recession does not mean a time of emotional depression.

With my guidance you will rise like a Phoenix -- while raking and burning leaves on my 18 acre compound in upstate New York. And that’s just the beginning.

Teamwork-building fire walks will test you beyond any previous “work and finance related” challenge you have ever faced. And my “cross the freezing river” exercise will raise your personal awareness to a level beyond your expectations.

Ever caught a wild duck with your bare hands and eaten it for lunch? You will. My O’Day Transformation Techniques employ grueling assignments that will take you beyond your limited expectations of yourself. I will guide you to transcend any challenge that currently stands between you and the fulfillment of your highest aspirations.

You're stronger than you think. And I’m tougher, more resourceful, and more tuned in to what you need than you are. I’ll be there with support, encouragement, and inspiration. This will be the first step in a journey that will continue for the rest of your life.

Together we’ll make these lean times leaner and meaner. And by leaner and meaner I mean more inspiring. Sign up at www.sandraoday.com.

Change

2008-11-04T18:12:00.003-05:00

Well, at some point tonight we will have a new president. (Hopefully.) Being a felon, and still on parole, I am apparently not allowed to vote. This discovery made me understandably furious when I went to my polling place at 7 AM and was loudly rebuked by the facially scarred woman with the speech impediment who screamed for the benefit of the hundreds of people in line behind me, "You can'th vote. You're a cwiminawl!" (Former criminal, thank you Scar Face.)

But instead of throwing things at her, as I so deeply wished to do, I went out and took three extra anger management classes, a yoga class, ran five miles and told the kid at Starbucks that I had gone to vote (I did go) so I could get my free coffee. Decaf.

While I can't vote to make Change happen for our country, I did make Change happen for myself, in my personal life. I did not attack the disfigured volunteer and wreck her pathetic face further. Instead, I worked out my aggression in a healthy way. And I ordered a decaf instead of a regular coffee. For Sandra O'Day, that's a pretty good start at real Change.

So, I have to ask you, people -- now that all the hype of "Change, Change, Change" will be quieting down, will you continue to Change? Or will you go back to being uninformed lemmings who let the newscasters and your neighbors tell you what to think? Will you go back to gorging yourself on cheese-stuffed crusts while popping pills to lower your cholesterol? Will you go back to watching junk on TV and complaining that you're gaining weight because you spend too much time on your patootie?

Or will you really do it this time? People, you don't have to wait until the New Year to start over. Do it now. CHANGE.

E-mail me at PowerofSandra@aol.com and tell me what you want to work on. Together we’ll make a plan for you, a rigorous program of transformation. Let's put you on the true path to Powerful Positive Change. You can do it. I'll make you do it.

PowerofSandra@aol.com

God Is Going To Get You, O'Day

2008-10-20T09:54:00.003-04:00

Oh, how I love the hate mail from the religious fanatics. This is from someone who wouldn't sign her name, but her e-mail address pretty much gives it away. So clever these people! I'm only publishing part of the e-mail, because it was so poorly written it looked as if it had been dictated to a special-needs second grader. Here's part of the thoughtful message from Mary:

You are a heathen and will be dammed to eternal hell. God will strike you down this week -- god will strike you down.
-Christian Soldier

OK, first of all, you forgot to capitalize your fictional friend's name the second time you used it -- and that's a big no-no! You should know better, Mary!

God is not going to get me, because he is imaginary. One of his psychotic followers might get me, but that’s not God.

Also, from what I remember from my time in prison -- surrounded by women who were suddenly very interested in the Bible and God -- God is supposed to be forgiving and kind. So it seems you're picking and choosing God to fit your needs, Mary. I think that's a no-no too, somewhere in the religious spin.

If God is as great and strong as you say, he wouldn’t need you to threaten people like me. So back off and let God do his work. You Psycho God lovers are always screwing things up by harming others in the name of God. Bottom line: Psycho follower is not God. Let God do his work, you do yours. (Like go back to school and learn grammar.) Use that brain God supposedly gave you, instead of leaving the gift in the box.

Onward, Christian Soldier.

Hate Letter From A Palin Lover

2008-10-08T10:58:00.006-04:00

Amazingly, the religious fanatics continue to send me e-mail. These people think if you don’t agree with them you are so wrong that you’re going to go to the fictional land of Hell.

I. Am. So. Scared.

An e-mail from Samuel: (Impressive biblical name!)

For you, Sandra.
Samuel's new definition of a Liberal: One who would fear and destroy Sarah Palin.

Wow, Sammy. You are your own dictionary! Very creative. Calm down. She did her winking and aw-shucks-ing on the “debate” and all of you who confuse political leadership with television personality think she did just fine. Obviously you can’t tell the difference between a leader and an episode of The Facts of Life.

The only one who will “destroy” Sarah Palin is Sarah Palin. Her ego is so inflated that she believes she is ready for and deserves the vice presidency. She’s not sure what a vice president does, but she’s pretty sure that Dick Cheney does it the right way -- according to one of her debate “answers.” Doesn’t matter that Cheney frequently steps outside the power permitted him by the constitution, she’s all for it! Lawbreaking? Why not!

Know what, Sammy? I’d like to see her do more interviews, because when people say they’re ready to be a world leader I think they should have to answer actual questions, not just give speeches and avoid debate topics.

I want to see if the candidate is ready, I want to know that the potential world leader knows what she’s talking about.

That’s why the press quizzes and investigates. This quizzing, testing and grilling is not attacking -- it’s part of the process. If you want to lead a major world power you need to be able to discuss foreign and domestic policy without embarrassing yourself.

You feel she’s ready to be the stand-by for a man who won’t release his medical records, who could very well already be dead, or pretty close to it.

I strongly disagree.

I think she needs to study the job description for vice president. I think we need to hear her answer more questions rather than merely pander to the right. I think she needs to figure out how to organize hockey moms at the PTA before she tries to lead countries. I think she shamelessly looks for opportunities to pass her retarded baby around like a joint at a party so she can get a nice photo-op.

She’s a folksy television personality, not a leader. She makes for a better comedy character on a SNL skit than a candidate. The only one who will destroy Palin is Palin -- unless she falls out of a helicopter while hunting wolves and gets eaten by a polar bear.

Where are we going? Why are we in this hand basket?

2008-09-28T20:24:00.005-04:00

Take a good long look at George W’s business past. Really, take 45 minutes and do some homework for yourself.

Google the Texas Rangers baseball team and Harkin Energy. Google it and read. Do some work for yourself and stop waiting for pundits to tell you how to think. Do the hard work, people!

WAKE UP.

Bottom line: George W. is recidivate in plundering public assets for personal gain. This time personal gain is purely one of hubris: he is most concerned in how he will look in the history books. I hope he will go down like Hoover -- sucking the whole way.

Today George W., who deregulated banking, which allowed this horrendous financially fatal event to happen, now wants us to bail his rich, old white ass out. Again.

He wants the public, Main Street, to bail out Wall Street. He wants the people who make less than 250 thousand dollars a year to bail out the Wall Street people who make well over 250 thousand a year, which doesn’t include their bonuses. (Wall Street bonuses are about 3 or 5 times what you make in a year. Really.)

We have to bail them out or we’re all screwed.

We are “Main Street.” They are “Wall Street”. And we have to bail them out to save ourselves.

So, if we are “Regular” Americans on Main Street, who are the “Non-Regular” people on Wall Street?

Are Wall Street people Super-Americans? Better Americans? I’ll tell you who they are. They’re Rich Protected Americans.

They’re the people George W Bush used to cater to.

But now, his Republican cronies are not standing for it anymore. They’re super-pissed, because now they’re dealing with the same idiot the rest of us have been dealing with for the past eight years. He’s now dragged them into the same hole he’s dragged us into. And they don't like the hole! Ohhh, too bad!

Hi! Welcome to the hole we’ve been telling you about for the past eight years! Make yourself comfortable. We’re ready to eat your eyes.

But those rich House Republicans aren’t accustomed to things not going their way. They’re not ready to cut the lines on golden parachutes for Wall Street CEOs and CFOs. They’re not ready to say the people we’re bailing out have to pay us back, because they still have to cater to the rich.

They want US to continue to protect the Rich People on Wall Street who are responsible for this.

But it doesn’t matter.

The common folk will have to bail them out anyway.

Because we always do. Because we are the rank and file regular Americans. And the mistakes of the “Ruling Party” are always taken out on the “Regular” people.

Until the regular people revolt.

Are you ready?
www.sandraoday.com

Voting Reminder -- Take It Off

2008-09-26T10:43:00.004-04:00

Hey folks. I'm sure by now that all of you who can vote have registered. Just wanted to remind you that you can't wear any political buttons or t-shirts or any of that stuff to the polls. They will turn you away and you could lose your chance to have your voice heard. So take it off. Take it all off. Then go do your civic duty.

Rock on.

Fundamental Thanks!

2008-09-18T12:45:00.004-04:00

Wow, I'm so thankful for our brilliant country. I have so many people to thank!

I’d like to start by thanking George W. Bush for doing the “Fundamentally Republican” thing and making government smaller by taking the horrendous duty of “regulating” banks off the government’s back and allowing banks to regulate themselves. That’s working out really, really well! I’ve lost tens of thousands of dollars! Thank you Republicans! You’re the best.

I’d also like to thank John “Chipmunk Gland” McCain for assuring us that our banking system is “fundamentally” sound. If fundamentally sound means printing more money without any actual value behind it -– he’s right!!! Keep up the good work!

And I’d also like to thank the Christian fundamentalists for being so fundamentally sure that the big, scary, “elite and intelligent” Democrats are going to ruin the country. I have to agree, they sure wouldn’t do as well at driving us into the gutter as the “Fundamentally Correct” Republicans are doing! Great job, Jesus Freaks! Keep up the good work. Keep looking for “enemies” that are “fundamentally” against you. Keep up your witch hunt until we’re all broke and as frightened and panic-stricken as you are. Oh boy, if driving us all to crazed desperation doesn’t turn us all Christian, what will?!

Good work America! Good work!

Letter from Hell!

2008-09-15T10:20:00.003-04:00

Sandra O’Day,
Who the hell do you think you are? You don’t believe in God or hell and you openly scorn a Sara Palin who is God’s gift to our liberal burdened country. You are in serious danger of burning in hells eternal fire unless you change your ways. We are watching you!

Wow, thanks no-name! What an intriguing, smart letter. Just what one expects from the conservative right. Who needs extra funding for education? Let’s break that letter down!

Who the hell do you think you are?

I am an ex-con motivational speaker. I also have anger management issues.

You don’t believe in God or hell and you openly scorn a Sara Palin who is God’s gift to our liberal burdened country.

I don’t believe in God, that’s true. But I know sharing the planet with people like you is hell.

I do scorn “a” Sara Palin. She isn’t a gift to anyone except suicidal moose.

As for our liberal-burdened country – I think we need the “burden” of someone like Bill Clinton back in the White House. Remember the national debt when he left office? Oh, right, there was none. It was a surplus.

You are in serious danger of burning in hells eternal fire unless you change your ways.

I’ll be making s’mores and serving Mojitos when you get there. (And you need an apostrophe to make Hell possessive. Hell’s eternal fire.)

We are watching you

You can sign up for an O’Day Workshop and view me up close! I think it would work wonders for you.

Pray Away The Gay with Palin!

2008-09-07T15:27:00.004-04:00

The Following from a radical Jesus Freak who claims to be on "O'Day Watch"
My comments follow.

Dear Sandra,
Hey, Finally a cure for being Gay! I know so many people that will benefit from such a program. GOD BLESS this church and Sarah Palin!!! Please pass along to all Gay people you know!

Associated Press:
ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Gov. Sarah Palin's church is promoting a conference that promises to convert gays into heterosexuals through the power of prayer. "You'll be encouraged by the power of God's love and His desire to transform the lives of those impacted by homosexuality," according to the insert in the bulletin of the Wasilla Bible Church, where Palin has prayed for about six years.

Palin's conservative Christian views have energized that part of the GOP electorate, which was lukewarm to John McCain's candidacy before he named her as his vice presidential choice. She is staunchly anti-abortion, opposing exceptions for rape and incest, and opposes gay marriage and spousal rights for gay couples.

Focus on the Family, a national Christian fundamentalist organization, is conducting the "Love Won Out" Conference in Anchorage, about 30 miles from Wasilla. Palin, campaigning with McCain in the Midwest on Friday, has not publicly expressed a view on the so-called "pray away the gay" movement. Larry Kroon, senior pastor at Palin's church, was not available to discuss the matter Friday, said a church worker who declined to give her name. Gay activists in Alaska said Palin has not worked actively against their interests, but early in her administration she supported a bill to overrule a court decision to block state benefits for gay partners of public employees. At the time, less than one-half of 1 percent of state employees had applied for the benefits, which were ordered by a 2005 ruling by the Alaska Supreme Court. Palin reversed her position and vetoed the bill after the state attorney general said it was unconstitutional. But her reluctant support didn't win fans among Alaska's gay population, said Scott Turner, a gay activist in Anchorage. "Less than 1 percent of state employees would even apply for benefits, so why make a big deal out of such a small number?" he said. "I think gay Republicans are going to run away" if Palin supports efforts like the prayers to convert gays, said Wayne Besen, founder of the New York-based Truth Wins Out, a gay rights advocacy group. Besen called on Palin to publicly express her views now that she's a vice presidential nominee."People are looking at Sarah Palin as someone who might feasibly be in the White House," he said.

OK Folks, I do my best not to blow my stack and I try to keep my language clean. But you have got to be fucking kidding me. Gay Republicans? Get out of the “Self-Hate” game! I think Gay Republicans deserve her. But the rest of us don’t.

Sarah Palin, while being a strong speaker with good looks, is a fascist. She believes the war is “Gods Will.” She goes to a church that believes it can turn homosexuals into heterosexuals because they believe homosexuality is "wrong" and that it makes god cry or something. She believes that Christianity is the ONLY religion that is right, when in truth there is something wrong with all fundamentalist religions. What’s wrong with fundamentalist religions? Not the various deities, but their frothing, lunatic followers. Fundamentalists are dangerous crackpots that torture and kill over who is the favorite of some imaginary friend up in the sky.

Fundamentalists do not believe in equality for all, only for those who are a part of their particular smug, blood-drinking religious sect.

Now, I’ve always said I don’t care what you believe. If you pray to a statue of a ceramic cat and that makes you feel good, terrific. Just don’t tell me I have to do it, too. Then we’re fine. But fundamentalists don’t feel that way. You have to do, say and believe like they do or you’re wrong and not worthy of basic protection and equality. They seem to feel that belief is tantamount to behavior. They can do anything they like –- lie, cheat, condemn others, make money off the war and treat the non-believers like crap just because they “believe the right things”.

And for all your Jesus Freaks out there who are on “O’Day Watch” you can stop sending me the “believe in Jesus or you will go to hell e-mails.” The fact that we exist in the same galaxy IS HELL. When I die it will only be better –- because you won’t be there.

And I hope Jesus does come back soon. I really, really do. Because he will kick your smug, righteous asses to the curb and go back to hanging out with prostitutes and lepers, just like he did when he was here last time.

The Blame Game

2008-09-03T20:23:00.002-04:00

Hello O’Dayers! The following is an exchange that recently took place on Facebook between my client, Oliver, my former prison mate, Sally and myself.

Oliver hates his parotid gland.

Sally: Oh crap, now I have to go look that one up

Sandra O'Day: A parotid is a big ear gland. One on either side, just like ears. Makes spit or something. Why would one hate it?

Oliver: Because when your bitch of a grandmother forces you to drink soup that you know is too hot 4 years ago which causes scarring once scalded, the glad won't excrete and the saliva backs up causing the gland to inflame. The result is days of discomfort until manually "pressed" when the infectious liquid can seep out and over your teeth. All day. Yum!

Sandra O'Day: Did she pour hot soup down your throat? Or were you merely pandering to shut her trap? Define "forces you to drink soup" for me. Because I think you took action that you're blaming others for. And that's not what we practice at O'Day Sessions, is it Oliver? I hope your saliva fixes up soon.

Oliver: Pandering. Once again Sandra you are correct in your observations. I am lucky to have discovered your teachings in my life. Thank you. I sent the check by the way so they can stop calling now. Thanks :)

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.

For further inspiration visit Sandraoday.com, e-mail me at PowerOfSandra@aol.com, or be my friend on Facebook.

Web Site!

2008-08-21T20:02:00.001-04:00

Hey O'Dayers! We're up and running at sandraoday.com!

Become a believer!

Greetings From O’Day Camp!

2008-08-11T13:10:00.000-04:00

Wow, it’s a rainy Monday here at O’Day camp, but we had one heck of a weekend. A couple of gals I know from the Lady Bird Johnson Correctional Facility for Criminal Women came up for a visit and we had a great time. We did some walking on hot coals and jumped out of a plane or two! We’re transformed!

On another high note, Ronnie D was visiting and after an intense weekend of self-reflection he finally killed the playground bully -- the one in himself! Great work, Ron.

We’ll be back in the O’Day offices soon, and we can’t wait to hear from you.

--Sandra

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.

Cheap Friend

2008-08-05T15:20:00.004-04:00

Dear Sandra,

Last night my friend made me get off the train SEVERAL blocks from where we were going just because he wanted to go to a specific ATM so he wouldn't be charged a fee. I felt like asking him to give me the fee for the inconvenience, not to mention the disregard for my time. "It's only a few blocks," he said. That's not the point! If my friend and I happened to be walking past an ATM and he had to run in and get cash I wouldn't mind at all. But I feel annoyed that I had to waste my time and energy because of a friend's cheapness and poor planning. I had been thoughtful enough to go to a cash machine during my lunch hour.

This had been bugging me all day. Why do friends let me down? Is it wrong of me to feel this way, Sandra?

--Annoyed at Other's Assumptions

Dear AAOA,
Why do friends let you down? Possibly you have higher standards than most people. Maybe you should be more picky about whom you hang out with. Or maybe you just have lousy friends and it’s time to get new ones.

The friend you wrote me about, however, is merely selfish and cheap. If you don't want to be inconvenienced, don't hang out with cheap, self-centered, money-grubbing, penny-pinching people. Unless you feel, in the long run, that that person is "worth" it. In which case you should give him the 2 bucks that he would lose by going to a more convenient ATM so you don't have to walk so far. Or, maybe, you should wear more comfortable shoes.
-Sandra

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.

Top 10 List for Tourists in New York City

2008-07-23T11:56:00.004-04:00

As you may know, the O’Day offices are in Midtown Manhattan, right on 42nd Street near the Port Authority, which is North America’s largest bus terminal.

To get to a subway we have to walk across 42nd Street through Times Square -- that section of the city filled with neon signs where they drop the crystal ball every New Year’s Eve.

It’s a busy place packed with tourists. While we love tourists here in New York, sometimes they need a little help. Here are a few pointers for our very welcomed guests:

1) You need to be fit enough to walk at least two miles in order to get around New York. Certainly there are accommodations for people in wheelchairs, but for those of you who are “able-bodied” but who spend most of your time in your hometown sitting in a chair, on a couch, or in your car, you might want to exercise a little before you get here if you don't already. New York is a city of sidewalks and stairs, and most of us walk at least a mile a day just running errands and going to and from the subway. And to get in and out of the subway you’re going to have to go up and down stairs. Several flights of stairs per subway trip.

2) Don’t stop at the top of the subway stairs. There are people behind you. Lots and lots of people behind you. When you stop the entire line of people behind you have to stop, and they will send you waves of hate for slowing them down. Remember, millions of people actually live here and they’re trying to get to work, or get home, or pick up their kids from school, or just get somewhere. Keep moving, and pull over to the side if you need to catch your breath or look at a map.

3) Ask a New Yorker for directions. We really love our city, even when it’s driving us crazy. We like to show off our knowledge. It doesn’t matter if we look cranky or absorbed in thought, ask a New Yorker for directions. (But not if someone is trying to talk on a cell phone. Seriously, that’s just bad manners.) Chances are, when you ask for assistance, the person you ask will know how to help and then two or three other New Yorkers will pipe in with suggestions, and you’ll end up getting great directions plus extra tidbits of advice.

4) It’s a sidewalk. A Side WALK. Sidewalks are like highways here in New York City, you need to keep moving. When you STOP suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk people behind you might walk up your butt or knock you over, and it isn’t anybody’s fault but your own. Those people behind you who do stop in time will send you hate vibes. When you stop suddenly in the middle of a sidewalk here in New York City you create a barrier for the hundreds of people behind you. So if you really need to stop you should pull over to the side, just like you would if you were driving on a highway. If you stop in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk you come off as rude and stupid.

5) Revolving doors are not brain-teasers. There are many revolving doors here in the city and they’re not that hard to figure out. You push on the push bar, and you go through one at a time. If you wedge your patootie in with some stranger in a revolving door you are going to be lectured, at the very least. If you are unsure of how to use a revolving door, best to watch others do it, then try for yourself.

6) Tip. If you go to a restaurant you need to leave the waiter a tip. To calculate the appropriate amount look at your bill, double the amount shown on the tax, and leave it for the waiter. Don’t be cheap.

7) Go to the theater! We have some great shows here, on and off Broadway! Make sure you turn off your cell phone before the show, and never text message during a show. If you see someone texting during a show make sure you tell an usher. Many people who text during a show get arrested and have to spend at least 24 hours lost in the New York judicial system -- and they deserve it! Also, it’s illegal to take photos during a show. Just a head’s up.

8) Don’t stop. When you go through a turnstile, keep moving. When you go through the metro entrance, keep moving. When you enter a building, a museum, a theater, keep moving. Just because you’ve crossed a threshold doesn’t mean there aren’t people behind you. What kind of silly nilly stops in a doorway?! Keep moving!

9) Walking four or five across is a bad idea. We all understand you’re visiting with family and friends, but to walk shoulder to shoulder with all those people is really crazy. And selfish. There is no need to form a slow-moving barrier. Clump it up, and help keep our city moving.

10) Keep Moving. Unless you’re from Mexico City or Hong Kong or an old-world city where people walk rather than drive from strip mall to strip mall, there are a lot more people here than you’re used to. Try to enjoy the hustle and flow. Our city is like a heart, and the people are the blood running through the veins of the city. Don’t be system-threatening plaque that clogs things and causes trouble, get into the music of being a part of our crowd. Don’t stop dancing, go with the flow.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.

What Gives, O'Day?

2008-07-16T09:44:00.000-04:00

Hey Sandra, where have you been? I live in Nebraska and I’m surrounded by idiots all the time. What gives with you? Post something, already.
-Pissy in the Heartland

Hey there Pissy! Thanks for noticing my absence! We’ve had big things going on up at O’Day Camp – stairs being cut into the river bank to help prevent guests from tumbling into the water, we’re having the bathroom in the main camp house redone, and there was a slight issue about me allegedly “violating my parole” by driving out of New York and through New Jersey to get to O’Day Camp – which is in New York State.

But all is fine now. I chatted with my lawyer, managed my temper, and took a yoga class or two. Plus I picked up a few extra anger management classes at The Center for Center. Interesting place, lots of hippies – and it smells like feet. But other than that I had a blast whacking a statue of an elephant with an inflatable bat. Good times!

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.

Attack of the Crazy Woman

2008-06-26T11:57:00.003-04:00

I may have mentioned that the O’Day offices are smack in the middle of midtown Manhattan. We're right across from The Port Authority Bus Terminal, a Catholic Church and a halfway house for addicts. The west side of 42nd Street between 8th and 9th is filled with many lovely people who dwell in and among those establishments.

Today, while walking down the west side of 42nd St, I heard a crazy, crazy, crazy woman screaming, “Stay away from me you fucking PSYHCHO!” She was screaming and screeching and throwing bottles. It happens from time to time just outside the halfway house for the criminally idiotic.

I felt bad for the person being screamed at, but I didn’t go back to help because my mother was a raving, skinny lunatic with missing teeth who had frequent rage episodes and I learned early on not to try and make any sense of it, or even attempt any kind of rescue. It only got you a good beating with her hook.

So I’m walking down the street, looking for a cop because you could tell from the sound of things someone was going to get hurt -- when suddenly the scarecrow toothless crazy woman is in MY face screaming, “Stay away from me you fucking PSYHCHO!” And then she spit in my hair.

She. Spit. In. My. Hair.

Luckily, I had just come from meeting my parole officer, who demanded that I continue with my anger management courses.

I unclenched my fists and grabbed my cell phone.

I immediately called 911, as much for her safety as mine, but before I could give my location I saw a cop in the lobby of the Commerce Bank on 42nd and 9th -- ON HIS CELLPHONE.

He was staring out the window right at us and HADN’T SEEN A THING BECAUSE HE WAS CHATTING ON HIS CELL PHONE.

I immediately corrected this situation by dragging him out and leaving him to chase her through traffic while she screamed, threw garbage and spit all over everyone.

I marched myself up to my offices to shower and beat the crap out of a pillow.

I lathered, rinsed and repeated three times. And one of my pillows sustained serious injury. And just as I was toweling my hair, I received a call on my cell phone -- from 911.

911 Operator: Did you place a call regarding a woman creating a dangerous public disturbance?

Sandra O’Day: I did.

911 Operator: The situation is being taken care of, who came to your assistance?

Sandra O’Day: Well, not the cop ON HIS CELLPHONE! I had to pull him out of the bank where he was HIDING FROM THE RAIN and put him on the case. So who helped me?
I HELPED ME.

911 Operator: Are you still on the scene at this time ma’am?

Sandra O’Day: No. I had to run to my office and shampoo crazy lady SPIT out of my hair.

911 Operator: Oh.

Sandra O’Day: When they take her in will they test her for TB?

911 Operator: I don’t know anything about that. But I will pass on the information that the officer was on his cell phone.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.

Put Your Legs Together

2008-06-17T19:50:00.004-04:00

Dear Sandra,
I get so angry when guys sit on the subway with their legs
spread out really wide and don't move to make room when
I sit down. What should I do?

Pissed Off

Pissed,

I know how you feel. Rude people are EVERYWHERE! In the past I would have ripped their nuts off and tossed them onto the tracks for the rodents and vermin to enjoy. Those were the days!

But now, thanks to anger management, I usually just squeeze in next to them and start coughing without covering my mouth. Then I start talking about how my TB meds aren't working. Sometimes I sneeze and get as much spray on them as I can.

And once I even sat down in the guy's lap! I started telling him what I wanted for Christmas! Boy was he freaked out, and his legs snapped together like a nun's in a cathouse.

But it's best not to get violent, because that will get you arrested. (And honey, you don't want to be put into a holding cell in Manhattan. The hookers will steal your cornflakes.) Just remember, it's hot, everyone is in a bad mood, and hitting people will only start a riot. And while it's never too hot to rip a rude person's nuts off -- it is illegal!

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.

Not Managing my Anger Right Now

2008-06-09T10:02:00.003-04:00

The O’Day offices are in the heart of midtown Manhattan. It’s convenient, because you can walk to pretty much any subway or bus you would ever need. It’s harrowing, though, because the neighborhood is very congested with aggressive drivers who are in a big hurry to sit in traffic at the Lincoln Tunnel and with buses full of people who want to tour around our city. Our offices are also a stone’s throw from The Port Authority, which is the biggest bus depot in the USA.

Recently I was walking to my office and crossing the street at 9th Avenue and 41st Street. 41st Street is where buses exit the Port Authority and cross 9th Avenue to get to the Lincoln Tunnel. It is also an intersection where people frequently break the “No right hand turn on a red light" law. Sure, they might not have the light, and there might be pedestrians in the way – but it’s more important that they HURRY UP and get to that tunnel so they can bask in the glory of bus fumes and road rage while they rush home to their miserable lives and ugly children.

Luckily, we have a lot more cops out on that corner now, because people keep getting run over in my neighborhood. Because drivers don’t realize that people actually live in my neighborhood and that pedestrians are just as important as drivers from the suburbs. But people who are in a big rush to get back to their lawnmowers and PTA meetings don’t really care about people who live in cities. They think we battle rats using sharpened sticks and duke it out over dumpster scraps. WELL, THEY’RE WRONG!

So I have the green light, and I’m crossing the street on the corner of 41st and 9th Avenue. And a BUS runs the light and almost HITS ME because the driver of the bus was TEXTING! He was TEXTING while DRIVING A BUS.

But there’s a cop on the corner, right? RIGHT! Thank goodness! Someone cares! But wait, what’s this?! THE COP IS TEXTING TOO so he doesn’t see anything. Were they texting each other? Was the bus driver texting, “Ha ha cop, I’m going to sneak past you again today!” and the cop texting, “No way bus driver, I’m gonna bust your ass!”

People, road rage is going to take on whole new proportions if folks don’t get their shit in order, ‘cause I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore. Our city is HOT, it’s filled with bus fumes and we sure as hell don’t need “VISITORS” driving like drunken rickshaw pullers all over us.

SO BACK DOWN and mind your manners! WE LIVE HERE. Don’t make us key your cars and push you down the subway stairs.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.

Lowes of Lloyd

2008-06-02T08:39:00.003-04:00

Up at O’Day camp we have a lot of gardening to do. And, wanting to make healthy food for my plants, I was on a search for a composter. If you have a composter you can rake up your old leaves, your grass clippings, your garden scraps and even take vegetable and fruit scraps from your kitchen, put them in the compost container, tumble it regularly, and in about two weeks you have great fertilizing material for your garden.

None of the Mom and Pop stores in the area carry them, because they are too large to keep in stock.

A new Lowes opened up recently in Lloyd, a little town about 20 miles from O’Day Camp. I figured Lowes is always advertising their helpful, friendly and knowledgeable service, so I thought I’d give them a call. Plus I hear the local economy was hoping for a big boost by having the superstore in the area. Lots of people would be employed, and that’s a good thing.

The first time I called I spoke to a man who identified himself as the manager of the garden center. He said I should call back the following week, because he was going to order composters.

I called back the next week and asked a young man in the garden center if the composters had arrived. He asked me to hold, which I did, for eleven minutes. The young man then got back on the line and asked me if composter was a name brand or some kind of a garden tractor. “Do you know what a composter is?” I asked him. “Uhhh. No.”

Now, this usually wouldn’t bother me, but since the guy was working in the garden center and not in window treatments it kind of ticked me off. Especially since I had been on hold for so long.

“May I speak to your manager?" I asked.

I waited another eight minutes, being bounced from one department to another, when a man identifying himself as John from the garden center got on the line. He sounded very much like the manager I had spoken to the previous week.

“Hi, I spoke with the garden manager last week. He said he was ordering some composters and I’d like to pick one up. Could you check and make sure they’ve arrived?”

John put me on hold -- for another 11 minutes. He then got back on the line and told me rather than keep me waiting, he’d call me back with an answer.

He took my number -- and never called me back.

I called back a couple of times over the next two weeks, but no one at Lowes of Lloyd could answer my question as to whether or not the composers had arrived -- or if they had even been ordered.

I ordered my composter online.

I think the local economy is a victim of its residents.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.

Slinkies

2008-05-22T10:05:00.002-04:00

I got an e-mail this morning from a client, and it really tickled my funny bone.

Some people are like Slinkies -- not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

Now, back when I was a criminal, before I had taken 120 hours of anger management courses plus the mandatory refresher course every five months, I was fond of pushing, shoving and punching any idiot who irked me or got in my way. Those were the days!

But of course I've embraced Powerful Positive Change (PPCTM) and have moved into new territory in my life.

These days, when encountering complete retards, I take a deep breath, count to ten -- twice if I have to, and I do my best not to take someone else's rude, stupid behavior personally. Easier said than done! So, as we go into Memorial Day weekend, let's keep our ire in check as our cities are invaded by slow-moving, slack-jawed tourists and as we sit on the highway like it's some kind of parking lot.

Take a deep breath, count to ten, and think of those slinkies!

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.

He Says The UHO Is Not A Scam

2008-05-15T12:24:00.004-04:00

On Monday March 24 I posted a diatribe entitled, “Mr. Hobo The Selfish Bum from The United Homeless Organization.” In that post I called the UHO a scam.

I later received this e-mail from Vonte Vakel Johnson, UHO worker ID# 2747. (Please read the March 24 post and Vonte's very eye-opening and enlightening response to how the UHO is supposed to work.)

Sometimes, in order to improve ourselves, we have to be willing to be wrong. And sometimes we have to sit down and eat a plate of crow. I am doing that right now, and I hope you will have a bite or two with me. A bite of SCAM crow!

Thank you for your e-mail Vonte. I wish you all the best. It's nice to find someone else who is also on the bumpy road to self improvement.

E-mail From Vonte:

I responded to your observation of that uho worker. I beleive in self help only if you are willing to upgade your self. Like i said in your blogger site sandraoday.blogspot.com. I'm a uho worker. if there is no improvement on the part of the worker than and only than is it a F**KING scam, and that is coming from a UHO worker who actually talks with homeless and previously homeless people, AND works the tables.

I'm a worker that is geting back up on my feet. UHO is not long term employment. It is to get us up from the street back into main stream society. If the worker doesn't want to upgrade themselves, DON'T GIVE THAT F**KER S**T. I sure h*ll wouldn't. time and money are one in the same, and if i don't have time to waste; what does that tell you about my money? I work the tables to get enough money to take care of my basic need and to save enough to fully enter back into mainstream society. currently i'm making progress in entering in to mainstream society.

This organization was designed as a self help program and a first step program. if the worker doesn't want to take the steps to remedy his situation, THEN F**K HIM/HER. don't hinder my goals in upgrading myself. I don't have time for BULLS**T when it comes to improving my situation for the better. If an A**HOLE was to F**K up there life, let them go somewhere where they can facility there F**KED UP behavior. Don't facilitate that S**T in a organization that's helping me get up on my feet. I don't blame you for calling it a scam, i'd call it a scam also if i didn't see any improvement on the part of the worker.

It's A**HOLES like "Mr. Hobo the Self Bum" who F**K it up for workers like me who want to change there life for the better. My table is located on 58thstreet and 5th avenue. my name is vonte vakel johnson and my email is vontevakeljohnson@gmail.com and vontevakeljohnson@yahoo.com

please feel free to send you praise and/or critisizmes to my email
or come the the location i'm at to scream at me and/or curse me out. this I'll gladly accept with a humble and meek spirit. and on this note i bid you adui.

sincerly your's

vonte vakel johnson
UHO worker ID# 2747

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

Ziggy the Cat

2008-05-05T16:53:00.002-04:00

I had the luxury of spending the past two weeks up at O’Day Camp. O’Day Camp is a former migrant worker compound that we’re turning into a retreat for my workshops and intensive one on-one-power sessions.

Camp is beautiful in May -- the birds chirp, the flowers bloom and the river is usually non-threatening. We have all kinds of critters zooming around the yard -- chipmunks, bats, goldfinches, even an opossum or two.

Ziggy, our camp cat, loves to sit in the window and watch all the action. He sits up straight and makes all kinds of nutty sounds. He chatters and shakes and cries – like he’s just dying to get outside and kill something. Like he has to get outside really, really bad. Like if he doesn’t get out there he’ll go crazy! So I take him outside. And what does he do? Chase birds? Hunt mice?

No.

He panics. Sometimes he frantically rushes from one green patch of grass to another, chomping like he’s a grazing goat. Then he starts getting spooked by everything, the chirp of a bird or a car door slamming two miles away -- he has a total freak out and runs to the porch and cries to be let back inside. Once back in the house, he cries and yearns to be back outside with the birds.

I think Ziggy likes wanting the birds more than being in a position where he can actually catch them. I think a lot of people are like that, too. They’d rather cry over dreams that didn’t come true rather than hunt them down and tear them to into something new. Those are frightened, lazy people. You might even be one of them.

But you don’t have to be.

I challenge you to move forward through lazy fear into active fear. I challenge you to apply a little determination and a lot of imagination to what your life can become. I believe, through reading my blog and buying my books and signing up for O’Day Camp workshops you could break through your lazy fear to a whole new level of active fear. And, between you and me, active fear is a more fascinating more enjoyable level of fear.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

It's Got Nothing To Do With You

2008-04-16T21:52:00.001-04:00

Here’s something you hear in New York frequently, “It’s got nothing to do with you.” You hear it on the street all the time, especially from people screaming on their cell phones.

But there is terrific truth to the phrase, “It’s got nothing to do with you.” It just means you shouldn’t take everything so darn personally. Nothing anyone in the world does has anything to do with you. Even if someone is doing something really terrific, or even something really crappy to you at the moment, it has nothing to do with you. What someone else is doing, saying, thinking or feeling has everything to do with them, and nothing to do with you.

Try to take comfort in that.

The one thing we all have in common is that we’re always thinking of ourselves. Our actions, viewpoints and words have everything in the world to do with us and what we want and how we want others to see us.

It has nothing to do with you. And that’s a good thing.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

E-mail Sandra at PowerofSandra@aol.com

Treat Yourself

2008-04-07T10:05:00.002-04:00

Oh, I just worked really hard today ...

Oh, my boss was such a hard-nose today ...

My kids are driving me nuts ...

I am so completely stressed out ...

I deserve a treat! A cookie. A box of candy-covered popcorn. A mocha-frappuccino hazelnut vanilla bean latte with whipped-cream and caramel butterscotch sauce on it.

People, we all deserve treats, but that doesn’t mean we should have them.

Oh, but my day was so hard. I’ll feel deprived if I don’t indulge!

Oh, you’ll feel deprived like all those people who don’t live in the top 1% of wealth in the world? Like those people “over there” who don’t have clean drinking water, let alone butterscotch? You’ll feel deprived like they do, and that would be bad, right?

People, we don’t fill ourselves up with treats to keep ourselves happy. We fill ourselves up with treats to help us maintain distance from reality.

Walk down any Main Street U.S.A. into super-mall America and you’re walking into one of the biggest, most mass-marketed soul pacifier factories in existence. Banners and signs waving in Red White and Blue that read, “Make today special, try a new latte.”

Make today truly special, folks. Don’t buy yourself that treat for a change and see where that takes your imagination. Stop pacifying your spirit, set it on fire.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

Be Yourself

2008-03-31T09:56:00.000-04:00

Be who you know you are, not who they say you are.

Lots of my younger clients, most in their early 20s, are immediately flummoxed when I tell them this. Because they don’t know who they are yet. They’re finally out in the big world, finally on their own, but they’ve spent their entire lives up to this point being told what to do, what to believe and how to behave. They’ve never had to figure those things out for themselves.

Those kids are trying to run forward into life but they keep looking back to check to make sure they’re doing OK. To see if they’re doing it “right.” To keep their eyes on the shore of approval.

Set sail, my friends. You’re never the same person when you journey and then return home. Go on the journey, and stop checking the horizon.

And for the rest of us setting sail on yet another adventure in our lives -- don’t worry about who you were yesterday. Stop trying to fix that person in the past. Your life can’t set sail when you’re dragging an anchor around. Cut yourself free and enjoy the ride.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

The United Homeless Organization is a SCAM

2008-03-24T12:32:00.003-04:00

Last week I was walking down the street past this guy who was soliciting money for The United Homeless Organization. (Google it, folks. It’s a scam.) The guy was sitting beside one of those giant water cooler water bottles begging for change “for the homeless”. I walked by with my coffee from Starbucks, a short coffee, which costs a $1.73, and this glorified beggar starts heckling me, ”Come on lady, seriously? You’ve got five bucks for a coffee from Starbucks but you can’t donate to the homeless?”

Not a good move on his part.

1) The United Homeless Organization keeps only $15 of the money each “volunteer” begs. The “volunteer” keeps the rest.

2) I donate to the Coalition For The Homeless, an actual charity that helps homeless people. I donate by writing a large check and not by throwing a hand full of pennies in a stolen water cooler bottle.

3) I am able to donate because I WORK a JOB. I don’t beg on a corner and ask for chump change. But then again, this guy is clearly a still-practicing bum, as I witnessed when one person was walking by and Mr. Hobo said, “If you’re not going to help the homeless can you at least donate a cigarette to me?”

4) Cigarettes are $7.50 a pack in Manhattan. But the bum didn’t harsh on the cigarette-giver for spending that money on smokes. I guess if I had brought Mr. Hobo a cappuccino he wouldn’t worry about how much I spent on my coffee and not on his “charity work”. (The primary charity clearly being himself.)

5) Sitting on the corner begging for change while wearing a red UHO T-shirt does not make it a higher-level of begging. It is still begging, especially when you’re begging for cigarettes.

6) The hobo told me, “I’m the top-earner for UHO.” No, dude, you give the UHO $15 so you can legally beg. You’re the top earner for YOU, hobo, not for the organization. You are a bum.

7) There are better ways to separate people from their money than by insulting their choice of coffee. We get insults for free here in New York City.

8) After being heckled by Mr. Hobo, a nice young guy came up to me and said, “That was really rude of him. There’s nothing wrong with drinking Starbuck’s coffee. Starbucks is the best place I’ve ever worked. I love it there. The company donates to lots of charities, too.”

9) Not every homeless person is a bum, but every free-loading bum is a low-life who is too lazy to keep a job.

And, after laying out my opinions for “Mr. Hobo the selfish bum” I realized:

10) You don’t need to explain yourself to a bum. He doesn’t care about you. He just wants your money.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

When/Then Syndrome

2008-03-19T15:15:00.001-04:00

I’ve met so many people who say things like, "When I lose 15 pounds then I’ll buy new clothes and start going to the gym." Or, "When I feel better about my stunted personality then I’ll start socializing." "When I get that embarrassing hair removed then I’ll start dating."

So, let me get this straight. You’re not going to do what you really need to do NOW until you get some lame, speed-bump excuse done first? That's crazy talk! People, don't create road blocks for yourself. There is no need to do that! Start with the big stuff and do all the work. Dive in. No more namby-pamby “let me stick my toe in the water” first.

Get out of the When/Then game, People. It's all here and now.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

Loser Criminal

2008-03-13T22:44:00.002-04:00

I got the following e-mail at PowerofSandra@aol.com, an e-mail address for you, my readers, to write in and touch base.

However, this e-mail is from some scam artist who claims to be "working" in London as a banker. I hope this person ends up spending as much time in prison as I did, if not more.

His ‘letter’ is in italics, my responses to his letter are in bold.

Allied Irish Bank Ltd,
14-16 Cockspur Street,
London , SW1Y 5BL.

Dear Friend,

Friend? Seriously? Who are you?

I was reading through your profile on the internet and found it interesting.

I bet you did.

Be so kind to contact me at your earliest convenient for a possible business deal involving money transfer of about £14.5 Million.

I don’t know who you are, but I won’t be contacting you at my earliest convenient. You are a criminal, and you are high on crack.

I am Roland Brown presently in London working as an investment consultant with the above bank at their London office. I am poised to work this deal out if we can do business. As at this moment, I am constrained to issue more details about this business until your response is received.

Oh, you’re Roland Brown and you are constrained to issue more details? I think you should be restrained with handcuffs and put in a hole with snakes.

As we have not met before, I will give you every details you need to know about me as we progress with the business.

I'm pretty sure I know every details I need to know about you. You are a criminal and your English is terrible.

I thank you for spearing moments of your very busy schedules to read my proposal. Send your response to my email address.:invest_2200@yahoo.com.hk

Thank you for spearing moments of your very poor English. Nice try, you loser criminal.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Thanks for reminding me of why I hated jail – because criminals are stupid, lazy crack heads.

Warmest regards,

Roland Brown

Kiss my butt,

Sandra O’Day