Be Yourself

Be who you know you are, not who they say you are.

Lots of my younger clients, most in their early 20s, are immediately flummoxed when I tell them this. Because they don’t know who they are yet. They’re finally out in the big world, finally on their own, but they’ve spent their entire lives up to this point being told what to do, what to believe and how to behave. They’ve never had to figure those things out for themselves.

Those kids are trying to run forward into life but they keep looking back to check to make sure they’re doing OK. To see if they’re doing it “right.” To keep their eyes on the shore of approval.

Set sail, my friends. You’re never the same person when you journey and then return home. Go on the journey, and stop checking the horizon.

And for the rest of us setting sail on yet another adventure in our lives -- don’t worry about who you were yesterday. Stop trying to fix that person in the past. Your life can’t set sail when you’re dragging an anchor around. Cut yourself free and enjoy the ride.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

The United Homeless Organization is a SCAM

Last week I was walking down the street past this guy who was soliciting money for The United Homeless Organization. (Google it, folks. It’s a scam.) The guy was sitting beside one of those giant water cooler water bottles begging for change “for the homeless”. I walked by with my coffee from Starbucks, a short coffee, which costs a $1.73, and this glorified beggar starts heckling me, ”Come on lady, seriously? You’ve got five bucks for a coffee from Starbucks but you can’t donate to the homeless?”

Not a good move on his part.

1) The United Homeless Organization keeps only $15 of the money each “volunteer” begs. The “volunteer” keeps the rest.

2) I donate to the Coalition For The Homeless, an actual charity that helps homeless people. I donate by writing a large check and not by throwing a hand full of pennies in a stolen water cooler bottle.

3) I am able to donate because I WORK a JOB. I don’t beg on a corner and ask for chump change. But then again, this guy is clearly a still-practicing bum, as I witnessed when one person was walking by and Mr. Hobo said, “If you’re not going to help the homeless can you at least donate a cigarette to me?”

4) Cigarettes are $7.50 a pack in Manhattan. But the bum didn’t harsh on the cigarette-giver for spending that money on smokes. I guess if I had brought Mr. Hobo a cappuccino he wouldn’t worry about how much I spent on my coffee and not on his “charity work”. (The primary charity clearly being himself.)

5) Sitting on the corner begging for change while wearing a red UHO T-shirt does not make it a higher-level of begging. It is still begging, especially when you’re begging for cigarettes.

6) The hobo told me, “I’m the top-earner for UHO.” No, dude, you give the UHO $15 so you can legally beg. You’re the top earner for YOU, hobo, not for the organization. You are a bum.

7) There are better ways to separate people from their money than by insulting their choice of coffee. We get insults for free here in New York City.

8) After being heckled by Mr. Hobo, a nice young guy came up to me and said, “That was really rude of him. There’s nothing wrong with drinking Starbuck’s coffee. Starbucks is the best place I’ve ever worked. I love it there. The company donates to lots of charities, too.”

9) Not every homeless person is a bum, but every free-loading bum is a low-life who is too lazy to keep a job.

And, after laying out my opinions for “Mr. Hobo the selfish bum” I realized:

10) You don’t need to explain yourself to a bum. He doesn’t care about you. He just wants your money.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

When/Then Syndrome

I’ve met so many people who say things like, "When I lose 15 pounds then I’ll buy new clothes and start going to the gym." Or, "When I feel better about my stunted personality then I’ll start socializing." "When I get that embarrassing hair removed then I’ll start dating."

So, let me get this straight. You’re not going to do what you really need to do NOW until you get some lame, speed-bump excuse done first? That's crazy talk! People, don't create road blocks for yourself. There is no need to do that! Start with the big stuff and do all the work. Dive in. No more namby-pamby “let me stick my toe in the water” first.

Get out of the When/Then game, People. It's all here and now.


I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

Loser Criminal

I got the following e-mail at PowerofSandra@aol.com, an e-mail address for you, my readers, to write in and touch base.

However, this e-mail is from some scam artist who claims to be "working" in London as a banker. I hope this person ends up spending as much time in prison as I did, if not more.

His ‘letter’ is in italics, my responses to his letter are in bold.

Allied Irish Bank Ltd,
14-16 Cockspur Street,
London , SW1Y 5BL.

Dear Friend,

Friend? Seriously? Who are you?

I was reading through your profile on the internet and found it interesting.

I bet you did.

Be so kind to contact me at your earliest convenient for a possible business deal involving money transfer of about £14.5 Million.

I don’t know who you are, but I won’t be contacting you at my earliest convenient. You are a criminal, and you are high on crack.

I am Roland Brown presently in London working as an investment consultant with the above bank at their London office. I am poised to work this deal out if we can do business. As at this moment, I am constrained to issue more details about this business until your response is received.

Oh, you’re Roland Brown and you are constrained to issue more details? I think you should be restrained with handcuffs and put in a hole with snakes.

As we have not met before, I will give you every details you need to know about me as we progress with the business.

I'm pretty sure I know every details I need to know about you. You are a criminal and your English is terrible.

I thank you for spearing moments of your very busy schedules to read my proposal. Send your response to my email address.:invest_2200@yahoo.com.hk

Thank you for spearing moments of your very poor English. Nice try, you loser criminal.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Thanks for reminding me of why I hated jail – because criminals are stupid, lazy crack heads.

Warmest regards,

Roland Brown

Kiss my butt,

Sandra O’Day

Fresh Ground Coffee

Due to flood conditions up at O’Day Camp, we are republishing notes that were run earlier this year.

The following conversation took place while I was visiting a friend in her very fancy, extremely expensive Manhattan apartment.

Sandra O’Day : Mmmm. That coffee smells really great, Doris!

Doris the Whiner: It better! It’s a pain in the butt to make.

Sandra O’Day: How so?

Doris the Whiner: Well, I really like super-fresh coffee. So I have to measure the beans, put them in the grinder, grind them, clean the grinder, boil the water, pour the water by hand through the filter bit-by-bit to slowly saturate the coffee ... it just takes a really long time!

A quick silence.

Sandra O’Day: Let me get this straight. You’re complaining about pushing a button on a grinder so that electricity, which you and everyone in your entire city has, will grind the expensive, designer coffee beans. Beans that were hand-picked on a treacherous mountainside in the relentless heat by someone in a developing country who has no electricity or running water and is paid a fraction of a penny for her hard work?

More silence.

Doris the Whiner: Cream and sugar?

Sandra O’Day: Black.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

Meow Boom Syndrome

Due to flood conditions up at O’Day Camp, we are republishing notes that were run earlier this year.

Religion is not prevention.

Some people think that subscribing to religion helps prevent bad things from happening. Like Jesus and the other deities are some sort of good luck charm. Jesus is not a rabbit's foot, people.

Here’s a fact: Bad things are going to happen in your life.

Here’s another fact: Good things are going to happen in your life.

Now, which fact do you focus on?

Most people, not surprisingly but sadly, focus on the fact that bad things are going to happen. They assume the bad things will outweigh the good things, so they focus on the bad things -- bad things that have never even happened!

Why? Why spend so much of your energy creating horrible future scenarios for yourself? Not that I don’t understand the attraction. It’s easy. It makes you feel like you’re being strategic about your future in some way.

Believe me, I used to dwell in the land of the negative future. Nobody, and I mean nobody, could spin a negative thought quicker than I could. My therapist in prison was amazed! Apparently it takes most people three or four thoughts to spin into complete despair and horror, but not me! My imagination could go from adopting a kitten to complete world annihilation in one thought. ONE thought!

I call this MEOW BOOM! Syndrome.

Every time my old, negative way of thinking starts to creep in I yell “MEOW BOOM” at the top of my lungs –- no matter where I am. And it makes me laugh and realize how silly I’m being.

Let’s all give our fears a good poke through their cage! Next time we are overcome by our fearful imagination we’ll cut it down to size by shouting at the top of our lungs, “MEOW BOOM!”

I know, it seems silly. And some of you still aren’t ready to cut loose that fear and worry. Some of you actually believe you need that worry -- because you try to use worry as prevention. As in, “If I worry about all the horrible thing that could go wrong I’ll stop those things from happening.” No, you won’t. But you sure will spend a lot of energy focusing on negative things.

Bottom line, you control your imagination, it doesn’t control you. And no matter what, worry is never ever productive.

MEOW BOOM!

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

Sympathy For The Devil

There are so many dim-wits out there who don’t understand that other people are just as important as they are. For years I’ve tried to change those mindless masses. I’ve tried to make the world a better place. I used to believe no one was O’Day proof. However, there are some who are so thoughtless, so thick-in-the-head, that I often feel like I’m back in solitary confinement banging my head against the cinderblock wall.

I now know the frustration born-again Christians feel when they realize they will never save anyone but other born again Christians. I understand their aggravation and their aggression. They really, really want the world to believe the same things they do! And, as Sandra O’Day, I can tell you I want the world to behave in a kinder, more thoughtful, more considerate way.

I want people to behave more like I do, just like the born again Christians want people to believe what they believe. (Behavior doesn’t seem to be as important to the born-agains as belief.)

But not everyone can be a born again Christian. And not everyone can behave in a kind and respectful manner -- as I wish the world would do. No, there will always be people who think it’s OK to break the rules, or be mean, or clip their nails in public. And try as I might, some of those people are not going to change. Just because I changed, does not mean they will. I’ve also noticed many of these unbelievably rude people are born again Christians -- and yet I feel their pain. In more ways than one.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

My Big Blue Gun

I really hate people sometimes. It never ceases to amaze me how many rude, disgusting thoughtless people are out there. I used to think those people were just selfish, but then I realized they were merely sloppy and trashy. Too lazy and lacking enough self-awareness to actually be selfish.

I think these etiquette-disabled people should be marked. Physically. That way, unsuspecting people of good manners and conscience could identify them immediately.

Here’s what I propose: a gun that turns people blue. And the blue coloring lasts for at least four days. That way, people who are consistently “blued” will be even more blue than the casual, accidental offender.

Now, I realize that if this dream of marking idiots were to actually happen, I myself could be “blued.” Because, lets face it, even those of us who try really hard to be polite and thoughtful and considerate fail from time to time. We’re all idiots, but we’re not all full-time idiots. That’s why we need the blue gun.

And once we could see those blue people coming a mile away we could all work together to make them more thoughtful members of society.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .