Coma Chameleon

Boy am I happy to be out of that coma. What a waste of time! Happier still to be moving again, mostly up and about no longer using a walker. It took me five hours to type this, though.

While Sandra Recovers

While Sandra is recovering I'm re-posting some of her earlier blogs. Here's one about her love for fire.
-Sandra's Assistant

An e-mail from an O’Dayer:

Dear Sandra,
I am curious about your affinity with fire. Are you attracted to it for it's qualities of purification or do you just like to watch things burn?
Just curious.
-A fan.

Dear Fan,
It’s a combination of both those things. Basically I’m a pyromaniac. The American Heritage Dictionary defines pyromania as, “The irresistible urge to start fires.” And, I have to admit, that’s me all right! But ever since I’ve been released from prison I’ve curbed my love for the burn and I no longer set anything and everything on fire. I have a wonderful fire pit up at O’Day camp where I do controlled, within legal limits burns. And yes, I even get permits from the town before I light the fire! So, if you have any old papers you’d like to get rid of –- divorce papers, old tax receipts, bankruptcy papers, love letters, pictures of yourself in sixth grade ... sign up for a trip to O’Day Camp and we’ll get rid of those pesky papers once and for all!

You can e-mail me at PowerofSandra@aol.com

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.

Faking it?

Um, OK. So Sandra is all in her wheelchair and whatever, and I go outside to feed the geese and when I come back my vintage Holly Hobby Paper Doll Book that I had been working on had been moved -- across the room and closer to the fire! ALMOST IN THE FIRE.

I'm beginning to think she's better than she seems to be.

Test and trial to follow.

-Sandra's Assistant

Hurry Up and Get Well

So Sandra is slowly progressing in her physical therapy. And she's "speaking." (I don't understand her but I smile and nod a whole lot.) It's very boring. My heart goes out to caregivers who don't get paid to do it and who actually love the person they're caring for.

On the goose front: the three wounded geese are still traveling together. The geese are: Debra Winger (the ringleader), Lefty Winger, and Scrappy Winger. A mallard duck goes everywhere with them. I can't tell what his deal is.

The wildlife expert/goose wrangler won't call me back. So I just feed them. Beats feeding Sandra. At least the geese are afraid of me.

And one of the neighbors keeps shooting a gun. I can hear it "Pop Popping." But I can see the geese, so they don't seem to be the target. Maybe I should dress Sandra in brown and give her an antler hat and set her out in the woods. HAHAHAHA.

-Sandra's Assistant

Goose Update

While Sandra recuperates here at O’Day Camp I’ve been trying to help some geese with broken wings. At first I thought there was only one, and I named her Debra Winger. Then, the next day she swam over with a friend whose wing is so horribly broken that it sticks up. I named it Left Winger.

Then today I saw Debra and Lefty swimming down river with some ducks, which is a good sign, but there was a goose across the river, on the inlet, that is clearly dying. It just lays on the ice, and sometimes its mate sits next to it.

It was so sad I was crying. Sandra was in the corner in her wheelchair where I had put her with a spoon taped to her hand so she could feed herself jell-o. Well, I look over at her, and she’s gesturing with her spoon at the goose, then at her mouth. Basically saying the goose is cooked and she’s ready to eat it.

Then she started laughing. And drooling.

I’d like to switch her out for that poor goose. See how funny it is then.

-Sandra’s Assistant

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! So this morning I had Sandra outside in a sled and I was pulling her all around the yard next to the river ... and a goose with a broken wing paddled up and asked for food! I am not kidding! And I said, “Sandra, look, that goose is all a wreck, just like you!” and Sandra said, “Arrighggh.” (We’re still working on getting her speech back.)

Anyhoo, I named the goose Debra Winger. And she likes whole wheat bread. Here’s a pic.

Sandra’s Assistant


Debra Winger Eating Bread







Debra Winger With Bread on Beak

Aarrgh!

OK, I'm about to put a KNIFE in my HEAD. Sandra can't even talk and she's making me CRAZY! I can't even tuck her blanket in around her in her wheelchair without her giving me a look that says, "You can do better!"

Her other assistants don't come back until the end of January ... I'm not gonna make it.

OK, so I let her fall in a river. And the night nurse stole her camera and rings and cash. And maybe I shouldn't have taped that spoon to her hand to try and get her to feed herself.

Maybe I'm not 100% "On My Game" but DANG! Back off with that look, O'DAY!

--Sandra's Assistant
(for now)