Thursday, July 7, 2011

Namaste, bitches! (Part Three)

I recently lost a bet and spent a month and a half at an ashram.

Every weekend rich ladies come to the ashram. They were perfectly botoxed and tucked so that no look of surprise or concern would ever cross their faces. They all look alike, with their weird paralyzed faces and fear of being over 40. But that’s not why I hated them.

I hated them because the monks couldn’t. Or wouldn’t. The monks are nice to everybody! They’re even nice to whining complaining bitches who show up to yoga in an ashram wearing pink velour sweats with “Juicy” on the patootie. (Or wearing Lululemon.)

They would bitch about the ashram not having hair dryers and then they’d bitch about the scratchy towels. I hated their loud, annoying Long Island and New Jersey voices as much as I hated the clenched whine of the Connecticut women.

Their gold “Ohm” necklaces snagged in their ridiculous earrings while they were in downward dog pose.

They would form cliques to make each other feel small and left out while they raced to enlightenment.

They showed up every weekend in a Prius and Lexus parade. And my stinky monk was just as nice to them as he was to me.

I learned something on those weekends:

Loathing the annoying will not make them less loathsome or annoying.

If you cannot stand someone, it’s only because you recognize something of them in yourself. Otherwise you wouldn’t care.

Lululemon is spendy, but I like it.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Happy Independence Day!

I got this email and couldn't agree more. Pass it on folks. And happy 4th of July!
-Sandra


The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.

I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2011
1. Term Limits.
12 years only, one of the possible options below..
A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms

2. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.

4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.

5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.

8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/12.
The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message. Maybe it is time.

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!! If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete.