Thursday, January 20, 2011

Probably People

If someone says to you, “I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” they “probably” shouldn’t. People who engage in this kind of manipulative gossip need to be rounded up and shipped to their own island where they can torture each other in a “Lord of the Flies” kind of way. Their whispered secrets, nasty rumors and flat-out lies are merely pathetic attempts to puff their egos by deflating someone else’s.

What do the Probably People get out of telling you something they “probably” shouldn’t? They get the satisfaction of spinning you into the murk of self-doubt. They balloon themselves on smugness with the power of “probably.” They make themselves feel big by making you feel small.

Don’t have any truck with the “Probably People.” And don’t be one. No one like a gossiping weasel-faced, back-biting jerk.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Top 10 List for Tourists in New York City

As you may know, the O’Day offices are in Midtown Manhattan, right on 42nd Street near the Port Authority, which is North America’s largest bus terminal.

To get to a subway we have to walk across 42nd Street through Times Square -- the section of our city filled with neon signs where they drop the crystal ball every New Year’s Eve.

It’s a busy place packed with tourists. While we love tourists here in New York, sometimes they need a little help. Here are a few pointers for our very welcomed guests:

1) You need to be fit enough to walk at least two miles in order to get around New York. Certainly there are accommodations for people in wheelchairs, but for those of you who are “able-bodied” but who spend most of your time in your hometown sitting in a chair, on a couch, or in your car, you might want to exercise a little before you get here if you don't already. New York is a city of sidewalks and stairs, and most of us walk at least a mile a day just running errands and going to and from the subway. And to get in and out of the subway you’re going to have to go up and down stairs. Several flights of stairs per subway trip.

2) Don’t stop at the top of the subway stairs. There are people behind you. Lots and lots of people behind you. When you stop the entire line of people behind you have to stop, and they will send you waves of hate for slowing them down. Remember, millions of people actually live here and they’re trying to get to work, or get home, or pick up their kids from school, or just get somewhere. Keep moving, and pull over to the side if you need to catch your breath or look at a map.

3) Ask a New Yorker for directions. We really love our city, even when it’s driving us crazy. We like to show off our knowledge. It doesn’t matter if we look cranky or absorbed in thought, ask a New Yorker for directions. (But not if someone is trying to talk on a cell phone. Seriously, that’s just bad manners.) Chances are, when you ask for assistance, the person you ask will know how to help and then two or three other New Yorkers will pipe in with suggestions, and you’ll end up getting great directions plus extra tidbits of advice.

4) It’s a sidewalk. A Side WALK. Sidewalks are like highways here in New York City, you need to keep moving. When you STOP suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk people behind you might walk up your butt or knock you over, and it isn’t anybody’s fault but your own. Those people behind you who do stop in time will send you hate vibes. When you stop suddenly in the middle of a sidewalk here in New York City you create a barrier for the hundreds of people behind you. So if you really need to stop you should pull over to the side, just like you would if you were driving on a highway. If you stop in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk you come off as rude and stupid.

5) Revolving doors are not brain-teasers. There are many revolving doors here in the city and they’re not that hard to figure out. You push on the push bar, and you go through one at a time. If you wedge your patootie in with some stranger in a revolving door you are going to be lectured, at the very least. If you are unsure of how to use a revolving door, best to watch others do it, then try for yourself.

6) Tip. If you go to a restaurant you need to leave the waiter a tip. To calculate the appropriate amount look at your bill, double the amount shown on the tax, and leave it for the waiter. Don’t be cheap.

7) Go to the theater! We have some great shows here, on and off Broadway! Make sure you turn off your cell phone before the show, and never text during a show. If you see someone texting during a show make sure you tell an usher. People who text during a show get arrested and have to spend at least 24 hours lost in the New York judicial system -- and they deserve it! Also, it’s illegal to take photos during a show. Just a head’s up.

8) Don’t stop. When you go through a turnstile, keep moving. When you go through the metro entrance, keep moving. When you enter a building, a museum, a theater, keep moving. Just because you’ve crossed a threshold doesn’t mean there aren’t people behind you. What kind of silly-nilly stops in a doorway?! Keep moving!

9) Walking four or five across is a bad idea. We all understand you’re visiting with family and friends, but to walk shoulder to shoulder with all those people is really crazy. And selfish. There is no need to form a slow-moving barrier. Clump it up, and help keep our city moving.

10) Keep Moving. Unless you’re from Mexico City or Hong Kong or an old-world city where people walk rather than drive from strip mall to strip mall, there are a lot more people here than you’re used to. Try to enjoy the hustle and flow. Our city is like a heart, and the people are the blood running through the veins of the city. Don’t be system-threatening plaque that clogs things and causes trouble. Get into the music of being a part of our crowd. Don’t stop dancing, go with the flow.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Make It!

So many people start off a new year wishing for wonderful things. But I say, “Why WISH?” Why put energy into crossing our fingers and knocking on wood and shopping for a new rabbit’s foot key chain?

Wishing brings out the WISHY-WASHY! Do you want to hang out with a wishy-washy, limp-rag, decision-making-impaired lazy-bones! Of course not! So why would you want to be one?

I say put away your wish and put on your MAKE. What are you going to MAKE happen this year? What are you going to MAKE happen this month? What are you going to MAKE happen this day?

Let’s put our MAKE on and MAKE some goals, people! I’m not talking “resolutions,” because “resolutions” can be broken. Every year in mid-January people sit around bars and pizza places all over America and whine about how they “broke their resolutions” after only a week. Then they order a pitcher of calories and have another bite of something double-crusted and stuffed with cheese. I know a lot can go into resolve, but resolve is far too easy to dis-solve!

But when you MAKE a goal the road is always open to meet that goal.

But Sandra, what if I get sidetracked and veer off the road and go traipsing in the woods?

The woods happen, people! Drop some crumbs to find your way out -- then get back on the road and achieve your goals.

You MAKE a map when you’re clear about what your goals are. A goal can always be met. Goals are the road signs on the Yellow Brick Road to your own, personal Emerald City.

Happy 2011! We’re going to MAKE this a fantastic year!

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.