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Thursday, August 21, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Greetings From O’Day Camp!
Wow, it’s a rainy Monday here at O’Day camp, but we had one heck of a weekend. A couple of gals I know from the Lady Bird Johnson Correctional Facility for Criminal Women came up for a visit and we had a great time. We did some walking on hot coals and jumped out of a plane or two! We’re transformed!
On another high note, Ronnie D was visiting and after an intense weekend of self-reflection he finally killed the playground bully -- the one in himself! Great work, Ron.
We’ll be back in the O’Day offices soon, and we can’t wait to hear from you.
--Sandra
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
On another high note, Ronnie D was visiting and after an intense weekend of self-reflection he finally killed the playground bully -- the one in himself! Great work, Ron.
We’ll be back in the O’Day offices soon, and we can’t wait to hear from you.
--Sandra
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Cheap Friend
Dear Sandra,
Last night my friend made me get off the train SEVERAL blocks from where we were going just because he wanted to go to a specific ATM so he wouldn't be charged a fee. I felt like asking him to give me the fee for the inconvenience, not to mention the disregard for my time. "It's only a few blocks," he said. That's not the point! If my friend and I happened to be walking past an ATM and he had to run in and get cash I wouldn't mind at all. But I feel annoyed that I had to waste my time and energy because of a friend's cheapness and poor planning. I had been thoughtful enough to go to a cash machine during my lunch hour.
This had been bugging me all day. Why do friends let me down? Is it wrong of me to feel this way, Sandra?
--Annoyed at Other's Assumptions
Dear AAOA,
Why do friends let you down? Possibly you have higher standards than most people. Maybe you should be more picky about whom you hang out with. Or maybe you just have lousy friends and it’s time to get new ones.
The friend you wrote me about, however, is merely selfish and cheap. If you don't want to be inconvenienced, don't hang out with cheap, self-centered, money-grubbing, penny-pinching people. Unless you feel, in the long run, that that person is "worth" it. In which case you should give him the 2 bucks that he would lose by going to a more convenient ATM so you don't have to walk so far. Or, maybe, you should wear more comfortable shoes.
-Sandra
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
Last night my friend made me get off the train SEVERAL blocks from where we were going just because he wanted to go to a specific ATM so he wouldn't be charged a fee. I felt like asking him to give me the fee for the inconvenience, not to mention the disregard for my time. "It's only a few blocks," he said. That's not the point! If my friend and I happened to be walking past an ATM and he had to run in and get cash I wouldn't mind at all. But I feel annoyed that I had to waste my time and energy because of a friend's cheapness and poor planning. I had been thoughtful enough to go to a cash machine during my lunch hour.
This had been bugging me all day. Why do friends let me down? Is it wrong of me to feel this way, Sandra?
--Annoyed at Other's Assumptions
Dear AAOA,
Why do friends let you down? Possibly you have higher standards than most people. Maybe you should be more picky about whom you hang out with. Or maybe you just have lousy friends and it’s time to get new ones.
The friend you wrote me about, however, is merely selfish and cheap. If you don't want to be inconvenienced, don't hang out with cheap, self-centered, money-grubbing, penny-pinching people. Unless you feel, in the long run, that that person is "worth" it. In which case you should give him the 2 bucks that he would lose by going to a more convenient ATM so you don't have to walk so far. Or, maybe, you should wear more comfortable shoes.
-Sandra
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Top 10 List for Tourists in New York City
As you may know, the O’Day offices are in Midtown Manhattan, right on 42nd Street near the Port Authority, which is North America’s largest bus terminal.
To get to a subway we have to walk across 42nd Street through Times Square -- that section of the city filled with neon signs where they drop the crystal ball every New Year’s Eve.
It’s a busy place packed with tourists. While we love tourists here in New York, sometimes they need a little help. Here are a few pointers for our very welcomed guests:
1) You need to be fit enough to walk at least two miles in order to get around New York. Certainly there are accommodations for people in wheelchairs, but for those of you who are “able-bodied” but who spend most of your time in your hometown sitting in a chair, on a couch, or in your car, you might want to exercise a little before you get here if you don't already. New York is a city of sidewalks and stairs, and most of us walk at least a mile a day just running errands and going to and from the subway. And to get in and out of the subway you’re going to have to go up and down stairs. Several flights of stairs per subway trip.
2) Don’t stop at the top of the subway stairs. There are people behind you. Lots and lots of people behind you. When you stop the entire line of people behind you have to stop, and they will send you waves of hate for slowing them down. Remember, millions of people actually live here and they’re trying to get to work, or get home, or pick up their kids from school, or just get somewhere. Keep moving, and pull over to the side if you need to catch your breath or look at a map.
3) Ask a New Yorker for directions. We really love our city, even when it’s driving us crazy. We like to show off our knowledge. It doesn’t matter if we look cranky or absorbed in thought, ask a New Yorker for directions. (But not if someone is trying to talk on a cell phone. Seriously, that’s just bad manners.) Chances are, when you ask for assistance, the person you ask will know how to help and then two or three other New Yorkers will pipe in with suggestions, and you’ll end up getting great directions plus extra tidbits of advice.
4) It’s a sidewalk. A Side WALK. Sidewalks are like highways here in New York City, you need to keep moving. When you STOP suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk people behind you might walk up your butt or knock you over, and it isn’t anybody’s fault but your own. Those people behind you who do stop in time will send you hate vibes. When you stop suddenly in the middle of a sidewalk here in New York City you create a barrier for the hundreds of people behind you. So if you really need to stop you should pull over to the side, just like you would if you were driving on a highway. If you stop in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk you come off as rude and stupid.
5) Revolving doors are not brain-teasers. There are many revolving doors here in the city and they’re not that hard to figure out. You push on the push bar, and you go through one at a time. If you wedge your patootie in with some stranger in a revolving door you are going to be lectured, at the very least. If you are unsure of how to use a revolving door, best to watch others do it, then try for yourself.
6) Tip. If you go to a restaurant you need to leave the waiter a tip. To calculate the appropriate amount look at your bill, double the amount shown on the tax, and leave it for the waiter. Don’t be cheap.
7) Go to the theater! We have some great shows here, on and off Broadway! Make sure you turn off your cell phone before the show, and never text message during a show. If you see someone texting during a show make sure you tell an usher. Many people who text during a show get arrested and have to spend at least 24 hours lost in the New York judicial system -- and they deserve it! Also, it’s illegal to take photos during a show. Just a head’s up.
8) Don’t stop. When you go through a turnstile, keep moving. When you go through the metro entrance, keep moving. When you enter a building, a museum, a theater, keep moving. Just because you’ve crossed a threshold doesn’t mean there aren’t people behind you. What kind of silly nilly stops in a doorway?! Keep moving!
9) Walking four or five across is a bad idea. We all understand you’re visiting with family and friends, but to walk shoulder to shoulder with all those people is really crazy. And selfish. There is no need to form a slow-moving barrier. Clump it up, and help keep our city moving.
10) Keep Moving. Unless you’re from Mexico City or Hong Kong or an old-world city where people walk rather than drive from strip mall to strip mall, there are a lot more people here than you’re used to. Try to enjoy the hustle and flow. Our city is like a heart, and the people are the blood running through the veins of the city. Don’t be system-threatening plaque that clogs things and causes trouble, get into the music of being a part of our crowd. Don’t stop dancing, go with the flow.
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
To get to a subway we have to walk across 42nd Street through Times Square -- that section of the city filled with neon signs where they drop the crystal ball every New Year’s Eve.
It’s a busy place packed with tourists. While we love tourists here in New York, sometimes they need a little help. Here are a few pointers for our very welcomed guests:
1) You need to be fit enough to walk at least two miles in order to get around New York. Certainly there are accommodations for people in wheelchairs, but for those of you who are “able-bodied” but who spend most of your time in your hometown sitting in a chair, on a couch, or in your car, you might want to exercise a little before you get here if you don't already. New York is a city of sidewalks and stairs, and most of us walk at least a mile a day just running errands and going to and from the subway. And to get in and out of the subway you’re going to have to go up and down stairs. Several flights of stairs per subway trip.
2) Don’t stop at the top of the subway stairs. There are people behind you. Lots and lots of people behind you. When you stop the entire line of people behind you have to stop, and they will send you waves of hate for slowing them down. Remember, millions of people actually live here and they’re trying to get to work, or get home, or pick up their kids from school, or just get somewhere. Keep moving, and pull over to the side if you need to catch your breath or look at a map.
3) Ask a New Yorker for directions. We really love our city, even when it’s driving us crazy. We like to show off our knowledge. It doesn’t matter if we look cranky or absorbed in thought, ask a New Yorker for directions. (But not if someone is trying to talk on a cell phone. Seriously, that’s just bad manners.) Chances are, when you ask for assistance, the person you ask will know how to help and then two or three other New Yorkers will pipe in with suggestions, and you’ll end up getting great directions plus extra tidbits of advice.
4) It’s a sidewalk. A Side WALK. Sidewalks are like highways here in New York City, you need to keep moving. When you STOP suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk people behind you might walk up your butt or knock you over, and it isn’t anybody’s fault but your own. Those people behind you who do stop in time will send you hate vibes. When you stop suddenly in the middle of a sidewalk here in New York City you create a barrier for the hundreds of people behind you. So if you really need to stop you should pull over to the side, just like you would if you were driving on a highway. If you stop in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk you come off as rude and stupid.
5) Revolving doors are not brain-teasers. There are many revolving doors here in the city and they’re not that hard to figure out. You push on the push bar, and you go through one at a time. If you wedge your patootie in with some stranger in a revolving door you are going to be lectured, at the very least. If you are unsure of how to use a revolving door, best to watch others do it, then try for yourself.
6) Tip. If you go to a restaurant you need to leave the waiter a tip. To calculate the appropriate amount look at your bill, double the amount shown on the tax, and leave it for the waiter. Don’t be cheap.
7) Go to the theater! We have some great shows here, on and off Broadway! Make sure you turn off your cell phone before the show, and never text message during a show. If you see someone texting during a show make sure you tell an usher. Many people who text during a show get arrested and have to spend at least 24 hours lost in the New York judicial system -- and they deserve it! Also, it’s illegal to take photos during a show. Just a head’s up.
8) Don’t stop. When you go through a turnstile, keep moving. When you go through the metro entrance, keep moving. When you enter a building, a museum, a theater, keep moving. Just because you’ve crossed a threshold doesn’t mean there aren’t people behind you. What kind of silly nilly stops in a doorway?! Keep moving!
9) Walking four or five across is a bad idea. We all understand you’re visiting with family and friends, but to walk shoulder to shoulder with all those people is really crazy. And selfish. There is no need to form a slow-moving barrier. Clump it up, and help keep our city moving.
10) Keep Moving. Unless you’re from Mexico City or Hong Kong or an old-world city where people walk rather than drive from strip mall to strip mall, there are a lot more people here than you’re used to. Try to enjoy the hustle and flow. Our city is like a heart, and the people are the blood running through the veins of the city. Don’t be system-threatening plaque that clogs things and causes trouble, get into the music of being a part of our crowd. Don’t stop dancing, go with the flow.
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
What Gives, O'Day?
Hey Sandra, where have you been? I live in Nebraska and I’m surrounded by idiots all the time. What gives with you? Post something, already.
-Pissy in the Heartland
Hey there Pissy! Thanks for noticing my absence! We’ve had big things going on up at O’Day Camp – stairs being cut into the river bank to help prevent guests from tumbling into the water, we’re having the bathroom in the main camp house redone, and there was a slight issue about me allegedly “violating my parole” by driving out of New York and through New Jersey to get to O’Day Camp – which is in New York State.
But all is fine now. I chatted with my lawyer, managed my temper, and took a yoga class or two. Plus I picked up a few extra anger management classes at The Center for Center. Interesting place, lots of hippies – and it smells like feet. But other than that I had a blast whacking a statue of an elephant with an inflatable bat. Good times!
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
-Pissy in the Heartland
Hey there Pissy! Thanks for noticing my absence! We’ve had big things going on up at O’Day Camp – stairs being cut into the river bank to help prevent guests from tumbling into the water, we’re having the bathroom in the main camp house redone, and there was a slight issue about me allegedly “violating my parole” by driving out of New York and through New Jersey to get to O’Day Camp – which is in New York State.
But all is fine now. I chatted with my lawyer, managed my temper, and took a yoga class or two. Plus I picked up a few extra anger management classes at The Center for Center. Interesting place, lots of hippies – and it smells like feet. But other than that I had a blast whacking a statue of an elephant with an inflatable bat. Good times!
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Attack of the Crazy Woman
I may have mentioned that the O’Day offices are smack in the middle of midtown Manhattan. We're right across from The Port Authority Bus Terminal, a Catholic Church and a halfway house for addicts. The west side of 42nd Street between 8th and 9th is filled with many lovely people who dwell in and among those establishments.
Today, while walking down the west side of 42nd St, I heard a crazy, crazy, crazy woman screaming, “Stay away from me you fucking PSYHCHO!” She was screaming and screeching and throwing bottles. It happens from time to time just outside the halfway house for the criminally idiotic.
I felt bad for the person being screamed at, but I didn’t go back to help because my mother was a raving, skinny lunatic with missing teeth who had frequent rage episodes and I learned early on not to try and make any sense of it, or even attempt any kind of rescue. It only got you a good beating with her hook.
So I’m walking down the street, looking for a cop because you could tell from the sound of things someone was going to get hurt -- when suddenly the scarecrow toothless crazy woman is in MY face screaming, “Stay away from me you fucking PSYHCHO!” And then she spit in my hair.
She. Spit. In. My. Hair.
Luckily, I had just come from meeting my parole officer, who demanded that I continue with my anger management courses.
I unclenched my fists and grabbed my cell phone.
I immediately called 911, as much for her safety as mine, but before I could give my location I saw a cop in the lobby of the Commerce Bank on 42nd and 9th -- ON HIS CELLPHONE.
He was staring out the window right at us and HADN’T SEEN A THING BECAUSE HE WAS CHATTING ON HIS CELL PHONE.
I immediately corrected this situation by dragging him out and leaving him to chase her through traffic while she screamed, threw garbage and spit all over everyone.
I marched myself up to my offices to shower and beat the crap out of a pillow.
I lathered, rinsed and repeated three times. And one of my pillows sustained serious injury. And just as I was toweling my hair, I received a call on my cell phone -- from 911.
911 Operator: Did you place a call regarding a woman creating a dangerous public disturbance?
Sandra O’Day: I did.
911 Operator: The situation is being taken care of, who came to your assistance?
Sandra O’Day: Well, not the cop ON HIS CELLPHONE! I had to pull him out of the bank where he was HIDING FROM THE RAIN and put him on the case. So who helped me?
I HELPED ME.
911 Operator: Are you still on the scene at this time ma’am?
Sandra O’Day: No. I had to run to my office and shampoo crazy lady SPIT out of my hair.
911 Operator: Oh.
Sandra O’Day: When they take her in will they test her for TB?
911 Operator: I don’t know anything about that. But I will pass on the information that the officer was on his cell phone.
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
Today, while walking down the west side of 42nd St, I heard a crazy, crazy, crazy woman screaming, “Stay away from me you fucking PSYHCHO!” She was screaming and screeching and throwing bottles. It happens from time to time just outside the halfway house for the criminally idiotic.
I felt bad for the person being screamed at, but I didn’t go back to help because my mother was a raving, skinny lunatic with missing teeth who had frequent rage episodes and I learned early on not to try and make any sense of it, or even attempt any kind of rescue. It only got you a good beating with her hook.
So I’m walking down the street, looking for a cop because you could tell from the sound of things someone was going to get hurt -- when suddenly the scarecrow toothless crazy woman is in MY face screaming, “Stay away from me you fucking PSYHCHO!” And then she spit in my hair.
She. Spit. In. My. Hair.
Luckily, I had just come from meeting my parole officer, who demanded that I continue with my anger management courses.
I unclenched my fists and grabbed my cell phone.
I immediately called 911, as much for her safety as mine, but before I could give my location I saw a cop in the lobby of the Commerce Bank on 42nd and 9th -- ON HIS CELLPHONE.
He was staring out the window right at us and HADN’T SEEN A THING BECAUSE HE WAS CHATTING ON HIS CELL PHONE.
I immediately corrected this situation by dragging him out and leaving him to chase her through traffic while she screamed, threw garbage and spit all over everyone.
I marched myself up to my offices to shower and beat the crap out of a pillow.
I lathered, rinsed and repeated three times. And one of my pillows sustained serious injury. And just as I was toweling my hair, I received a call on my cell phone -- from 911.
911 Operator: Did you place a call regarding a woman creating a dangerous public disturbance?
Sandra O’Day: I did.
911 Operator: The situation is being taken care of, who came to your assistance?
Sandra O’Day: Well, not the cop ON HIS CELLPHONE! I had to pull him out of the bank where he was HIDING FROM THE RAIN and put him on the case. So who helped me?
I HELPED ME.
911 Operator: Are you still on the scene at this time ma’am?
Sandra O’Day: No. I had to run to my office and shampoo crazy lady SPIT out of my hair.
911 Operator: Oh.
Sandra O’Day: When they take her in will they test her for TB?
911 Operator: I don’t know anything about that. But I will pass on the information that the officer was on his cell phone.
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Put Your Legs Together
Dear Sandra,
I get so angry when guys sit on the subway with their legs
spread out really wide and don't move to make room when
I sit down. What should I do?
Pissed Off
Pissed,
I know how you feel. Rude people are EVERYWHERE! In the past I would have ripped their nuts off and tossed them onto the tracks for the rodents and vermin to enjoy. Those were the days!
But now, thanks to anger management, I usually just squeeze in next to them and start coughing without covering my mouth. Then I start talking about how my TB meds aren't working. Sometimes I sneeze and get as much spray on them as I can.
And once I even sat down in the guy's lap! I started telling him what I wanted for Christmas! Boy was he freaked out, and his legs snapped together like a nun's in a cathouse.
But it's best not to get violent, because that will get you arrested. (And honey, you don't want to be put into a holding cell in Manhattan. The hookers will steal your cornflakes.) Just remember, it's hot, everyone is in a bad mood, and hitting people will only start a riot. And while it's never too hot to rip a rude person's nuts off -- it is illegal!
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
I get so angry when guys sit on the subway with their legs
spread out really wide and don't move to make room when
I sit down. What should I do?
Pissed Off
Pissed,
I know how you feel. Rude people are EVERYWHERE! In the past I would have ripped their nuts off and tossed them onto the tracks for the rodents and vermin to enjoy. Those were the days!
But now, thanks to anger management, I usually just squeeze in next to them and start coughing without covering my mouth. Then I start talking about how my TB meds aren't working. Sometimes I sneeze and get as much spray on them as I can.
And once I even sat down in the guy's lap! I started telling him what I wanted for Christmas! Boy was he freaked out, and his legs snapped together like a nun's in a cathouse.
But it's best not to get violent, because that will get you arrested. (And honey, you don't want to be put into a holding cell in Manhattan. The hookers will steal your cornflakes.) Just remember, it's hot, everyone is in a bad mood, and hitting people will only start a riot. And while it's never too hot to rip a rude person's nuts off -- it is illegal!
I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle and will continue to inspire you.
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