Steak for Sale

True Story

Last night I was approached on a street corner by a heavyset, scrappy-looking woman. The following conversation took place:

Scrappy Lady: Excuse me. I just got out of rehab. Do you have a cigarette?

Sandra O’Day: No, I don’t.

Silence.

Scrappy Lady: Do you eat steak?

Sandra O’Day: Steak?

Scrappy Lady: Yes. Do you eat steak?

Sandra O’Day: Not often.

Scrappy Lady: Oh, ‘cause I got these two steaks in this bag here, and I want to sell them. They’re very nice steaks.

She shows me the steaks.

Scrappy Lady: I lifted them from the store.

Sandra O’Day: Oh.

Silence.

Scrappy Lady: (In a sad voice.) Don’t judge me.

Sandra O'Day: I wouldn’t.

Scrappy Lady: I can tell that by looking at you! You look like you understand. Like you’ve been in trouble before.

Sandra O’Day: I have. I’m still on parole.

Silence.

Scrappy Lady & Sandra O’Day: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Laughter dies down.

Scrappy Lady: Know where I might be able to sell these steaks?

Sandra O’Day: I’d try outside of the bar around the corner. Lots of smokers out there who look like they enjoy steak.

Scrappy Lady: Yeah, good idea. It’s a rough bar.

Sandra O’Day: Goodnight. Good luck with your rehab.

Scrappy Lady: Good luck with your parole! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.

The Worry Game

Worry is pointless. Even crazy fundamentalists of any stripe will tell you that. “Let go and let God,” they say. Some people whisper to little worry dolls at night, “Sorry to burden you, little piece of straw wearing clothes. But thanks!” And for them, worrying is done! I say, heck, if it works for you use it. If you need to stick pins in a pillow stuffed with lavender or light Glade Scented Candles or have a scotch while you soak in a hot tub of bubble bath crying and listening to Pasty Cline -- that’s great. If it works, good for you! Just don’t waste your time trying to convince me your way is the only way. There is more than one way to ditch worry.

Worry will never, ever work in a positive way.

You know what you’re trying to do when you worry? Prevent bad things from happening. But you can’t. So don’t try. Worry is pointless.

If you worry over what could be, trying to imagine what might happen, you are not thinking about the future. You are writing a play. A worry play. Stop. It’s not interesting, useful or productive.

Get out of the worry game.


I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

The Probably People

If someone says to you, “I probably shouldn’t tell you this ...” they “probably” shouldn’t. People who engage in this kind of manipulative gossip need to be rounded up and shipped to their own island where they can torture each other in a “Lord of the Flies” kind of way. Their whispered secrets, nasty rumors and flat-out lies are merely pathetic attempts to puff their egos by deflating someone else’s.

What do the Probably People get out of telling you something they “Probably” shouldn’t? They get the satisfaction of spinning you into the murk of self-doubt. They balloon themselves on smugness with the power of “Probably.” They make themselves feel big by making you feel small.

Don’t have any truck with the “Probably People.” And don’t be one. No one like a gossiping, weasel-faced, back-biting jerk.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.

Inspiration Everywhere

I saw this in a children’s joke book I was reading in the O’Day Camp library last weekend:

Q: Where can you always find a helping hand?

A: At the end of your arm.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

You can e-mail me at PowerofSandra@aol.com

E-mail From An O’Dayer

dear sandra oday;
i really like what you are saying....but i really like that you have anger proplems. that i can relate to. in fact when people don't admit this it makes me freaking crazy!! i bet you get me. i bet you're on board. if you are not, to HELL WITH YOU! sorry, i got a little angry.
your new fan,
jerry
www.exploding-noses.com

Thanks for your e-mail Jerry! I enjoy your discoveries as you explore unemployment. Here’s an exercise you might want to try when you feel yourself getting angry: take a deep breath and then count to ten. It has prevented me from violating my parole more than once! I’ve also challenged myself to not use any swear words, and while I don’t always succeed, at least I’m aware that I might be losing my temper when one slips out. Beating the stuffing out of a pillow works, too. Sometimes I even smack a rock with a stick while I scream my head off. And when I really need to let off steam I go on a run up a mountain or take a quick dip in the river up here at O’Day camp. An icy cold dunk in the water will cool anybody off! And whatever I do, I don’t drink and play with guns. (I don't have to learn that lesson more than once!)

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

You can e-mail me at PowerofSandra@aol.com

Happy Birthday!

Many people in the “O’Day Circle of Friends” have birthdays this week. I called one of those friends to wish her a happy birthday -- and she started complaining about how old she’s getting. Seriously?! Is it such a horrible thing, surviving another year?

Oh, goodness gracious, I’m turning 30.

Oh crud, I’m turning 48.

Aw, man, I’m almost 60! Poor me.

People! Why all the boo-hooing? I say good for you! Some people don’t make it that far. Some people don’t make it out of childhood, or infancy for that matter. Some people are struck down in their prime! You’re HERE! Start listening to your life. Everyday is an adventure full of stories, don’t let your story be a list of gripes.

Be more than a complainer. More than a worrier. Become more than just a fearful, weak person. You are alive -- stop lamenting and start living!

People, what are you learning as you get older? Anything?

Exercise:

Very quickly, jot down three things you’ve learned since January 20, 2007.

Go ahead, don't be lazy. Do it.

Now look at your answers. Are you making progress, or is your page blank? Are you making the same mistakes year after year? Are you stuck in the land of “The Way Things Were?” Are you still behaving the way you did twenty years ago?

Right now, I want to know:

1) What have you learned?
2) What do your words and actions teach others?

Let’s help each other out, people. If you reach the ripe old age of 22, or 45 or 106 -- pat yourself on the back and do your part. Listen to your life and tell us what you hear. Be a sage, not a whiner!

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

Happy Birthday to SaraH, Del and Nancy! Live Stong.

You can e-mail Sandra at PowerofSandra@aol.com

Next Cup People

There are some people who just can’t enjoy their first cup of coffee in the morning. They’re too busy thinking about having their second cup. But the second cup isn’t quite as good as the first, but they didn’t really enjoy the first cup because they were too busy thinking about the next one. Then they spend the next cup thinking about how good the first one could have been and why isn’t the second cup as good as the first?

Some people spend their entire day rushing into the imaginary future, stopping back to search for the past they missed, then go speeding back into a make-believe future they create with “what-ifs”. They spend absolutely no time in the NOW.

People! Why all the mental time travel?

We get so wrapped up in the hornet’s nest of our brains we don’t even enjoy the most basic and simple pleasures in life. So shush up the screeching Howler monkey in your head and enjoy your coffee before it gets cold.



One thing at a time, folks. The future will be here soon enough, and it will be called NOW when it gets here. You will learn to recognize it by enjoying the simple things.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.

You can e-mail me at PowerofSandra@aol.com