Off With Their Pants!

What separates the men from the boys? Pants. Back in the “Olde Dayes” boys wore short pants until they were considered to be adults. When they started behaving like grown ups they got a pair of real pants.

Now, in a tremendous burst of irony, we have this:



All they way under their butt cheeks. The front of the pants right at their little penises. (I have to assume their penises are little, otherwise those pants would be riding a bit higher.)

What can we do about it, Sandra? People are just stupid.

I’ll tell you what we can do about it! I did it today on the subway stairs coming out of the F train and it was fantastic!

Pants the idiots!

That’s right, sneak up behind them and yank those stupid pants down! They can’t chase you, ‘cause their pants are around their ankles. And it takes them too long to pull them up and position them in that oh-so-special penguin-walk way. Sure you’ll have to run a little, but we can all use a little extra cardio.

Let’s start flash mobs of pants-ers! Let’s all descend on Times Square and pants the stupid idiots.

And keep your cameras ready. I’m on Facebook and I want to see the photos.

It's Got Nothing To Do With You

Here’s something you hear in New York frequently, “It’s got nothing to do with you.” You hear it on the street all the time, especially from people screaming on their cell phones.

But there is terrific truth to the phrase, “It’s got nothing to do with you.” It just means you shouldn’t take everything so darn personally. Nothing anyone in the world does has anything to do with you. Even if someone is doing something really terrific or even something really crappy to you, it has nothing to do with you. What someone else is doing, saying, thinking or feeling has everything to do with them, and nothing to do with you.

The one thing we all have in common is that we’re always thinking of ourselves. Our actions, viewpoints and words have everything in the world to do with us and what we want and how we want others to see us.

It has nothing to do with you. And that’s a good thing.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you .

Don't Fix It, Move On

I just spent the past five hours in an intense One-On-One O'Day Power Session with a client who wanted to change her past. For four hours and fifty-five minutes I listened to her go on and on and on about what she wishes she could do over and change.

Sister, if I had a dollar for every time I wished for a do-over I'd be a kerbillionaire.

But you can't change your past. It's done. Over. You can't fix it or improve it or tinker with the truth. The past is past.

My client finally lamented, "I just want to put my life back in drive and move forward," to which I replied, "Then stop looking in the rear view mirror."

Stop looking behind, people. Stop looking back. Throw you life into drive and step on the gas. Make it new and get it right this time. Or as close to right as you can.

See you on the road!

People are like Slinkies

I got an e-mail this morning from a client, and it really tickled my funny bone.

"Some people are like Slinkies -- not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs."

That is so true!

Back when I was a criminal, before I had taken 120 hours of anger management courses plus the mandatory refresher course every five months, I was fond of pushing, shoving and punching any idiot who irked me or got in my way. Those were the days!

But I've embraced Powerful Positive Change (PPC) and have moved into new territory in my life.

These days, when encountering complete ass-wipes, I take a deep breath, count to ten -- twenty if I have to, and I do my best not to take their rude, stupid behavior personally.

So, as we slog our way through this hot and humid summer let's keep our ire in check as our cities are invaded by slow-moving, slack-jawed tourists with extreme mental problems.

Take a deep breath, count to ten, and think of those slinkies!

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.

99 Cent Dreams

Maybe if you invested more in your dreams they wouldn't be so shoddy. And made of cut-rate plastic from China. Invest in your dreams, people. Don't just buy cheap junk and fill up your home with trash. Chuck the garbage and invest in a Sandra O'Day One-On-One O'Day Power Session. Sure I'll lock you in a creepy cabin for a few days, but once I'm done with you you'll bust out as a new, better person.

And you won't have to dust a bunch of cheap plastic figurines made by slaves in China .

It's not the heat ...

Boy oh boy have I been hearing a whole lot of whining lately.

"It's so hot."

"I have to run my air conditioning all day."

"It's too hot to cook, let's take a taxi to the sushi place."

People! Get. A. Grip. You're not in Calcutta.

What amazes me most about this weather is that folks complain more about the heat than the inappropriately dressed citizens. It's getting disgusting. People, just because it's over one-hundred degrees it doesn't mean you should bare your seven flabby elbows and fifteen ass cheeks while you shuffle around town in FLIP FLOPS.

I'm not saying you have to wear linen or seersucker suits with a straw hat, but you also don't have to wear teeny-tiny shorts that show your butt crack. I swear to God I was walking up the subway behind a woman whose ill-fitting white pants were so low that her hairy ass crack was exposed. At first I thought it was her vagina! I didn't know if she was coming or going!

And gay boys -- the slack shorts are very fancy but if I can see the outline of your balls they are TOO TIGHT!

And taxi drivers, ENOUGH. Use deodorant. Wash daily. 'Cause I'm starting a silent protest. If your taxi driver is smelly, tip poorly. Or tip in trial-sized Mitchum.

People, we can't avoid summer. But if we work together we can make it less disgusting.

Celebrate True Independence

Think for yourself.

Just because people mean what they say it doesn’t make what they're saying true.

Do the hard work and think for yourself.

Don’t be a lazy-ass-turd-ball and wait for someone to hand you your beliefs and opinions. You don’t let strangers chew your food for you and spit it into your mouth for crying out loud! So don’t let them digest all the latest ideas for you and puke them into your brain!

Independent thought is going the way of the Dodo Bird in this country. Let’s try and save it.