Get a Room

I was recently on a flight home from conducting a Sandra O’Day Motivational Workshop. It was a lengthy, cross country flight and I was looking forward to listening to some music and reading a draft of my latest book. I was seated behind a young couple -- apparently new to the concept of affection. They would not stop kissing each other, nuzzling, and licking each other’s faces. Apparently people don’t realize that the people sitting behind you on the plane can see you, that the little space between your seats does not make you invisible. In fact, that little space between your seats acts like a framing device that brings your every smack and lick into horrifying view. Now, I don’t mind a little kiss, or hand-holding, but these people were EATING each others faces LOUDLY the ENTIRE SIX HOUR FLIGHT.

People, don’t. Just don’t. I no more want to watch you consume one another than I’d want to watch you eat a bucket of chicken wings in extreme close-up in HD. Stop chewing on each other in public, stop picking your noses in public, and stop clipping your nails in public.

Let’s all agree to a common code of respectful conduct. If you wouldn’t want some stranger doing a specific activity in your living room -- then you shouldn’t be doing that activity in public. This obviously includes urination and throwing your trash wherever you please. The world is not your trash can or your ash tray.

The world would be a better place if we would ask ourselves, “Should I be doing this in public?” So to the lady screaming and crying on her cell phone in front of my building -- go home and use your landline. The show’s over.

I look forward to hearing your stories of immense personal struggle, and will continue to inspire you.